Tag: love

Something To Think About

Published on by ohlala80Leave a comment

Everywhere we go, everything we set our eyes on, we immediately are greeted by someone trying to capture the moment on his/her phone. Am I that someone? On many occasions yes I am. I am guilty of spending too much time on my phone, of taking way too many photos, of wanting to share my daily routines with my friends. I can only speak for myself when I say I get a sense of joy out of sharing my simple yet pleasurable life with those I care about. Although, my social media is limited to mostly people I know well and looking back on my posts I truly feel that alhamdulillah Allah has blessed me with a wonderful life. I am a visual person and for me, looking back at my social media I am reminded to be thankful of how blessed I truly am.

However I’ve realized that in recent years and especially with the younger generations, taking pictures and sharing them has become a form of competition. A competition of who has the more lavish life, who has the most friends, who owns more brands and who travels more… so here I ask the question what has social media become to those people? Is it making them happier or is it making them more anxious? And the most thing I wonder about is has it truly become a competition?

Unfortunately today there’s a fine line between sharing and boasting. A fine line between having a good life and showing a good life. A fine line between what’s personal and what isn’t. It makes me sad sometimes to see that my culture that was honored by its conservativeness has suddenly become a spectacle for all to see on social media. Weddings have become spectacles, trips have become boastings, personal belongings have become something to show and compare with others. I fear that the happiness my social media gives me may in fact be making other people miserable.

So this is something to think about. What is social media to you? What do you think it is selling you? Are you gaining or are you losing with social media? What does your social media content reflect about you and has your life become a visual reminder to be grateful or has it become a spectacle displayed purely to compete? Think about it…

To My Shining Star

Published on by ohlala80Leave a comment

From the day you were born I knew you were special. We named you Noora and just like the meaning of your name you were always “Noor” which means light, shining and lighting up every room by your presence. A much sought out baby your big grey eyes searched mine intently as you wiggled and kicked in my arms full of life.

As the years went by I watched you grow into the beautiful young lady you are today. Sixteen years just flew buy… too quickly… too fast… Looking back I covet the beautiful memories we shared, the songs we created and the poems and the games we played. You aced school and was always the star of the class. At the young age of eleven we discovered your talent in crocheting and you created your very first crochet bunny all on your own. And then at the age of twelve you excelled in horse riding even when you had a serious accident falling head first off the horse, as soon as your condition permitted you were back on the horse determined to ride again full of bravery. You always persevered, never giving up. I am in awe at your strength. While most girls your age followed tick tock or spent hours on makeup tutorials, you were always learning and always creating charming things such as your picturesque artwork, your delightful handmade creations, your fascinating crafts and much more.

You’re a loyal friend and a good influence on those around you. Not only friends seek you but parents as well long for you to befriend their daughters. Noora you are a star, a light from God. You attract people and goodness wherever you are. So happy sweet 16 my love. May you continue to shine bright in every way I have no doubt that amazing things are in store for you as you continue to dazzle everyone by your greatness.

A Year Older A Lifetime Wiser

Published on by ohlala80Leave a comment

As I grow older I come to the realization more and more that the greatest achievements don’t lie in monetary materials but rather in emotional connection, quality time with loved ones and true healing and acceptance of oneself. Today I accept myself as I am. I will always be sensitive because I feel so deeply. I was once described as an antenna picking up other peoples emotions. Struggling with my own sensitivity and being prone to depression I always sensed other peoples struggles or joys. This is why I usually go the extra mile with people I meet even if we’ve just met. This didn’t necessarily work to my benefit as some people I went the extra mile with simply took advantage of it. I used to feel used and hurt however today I have no regrets. The people who took advantage of my kindness I still feel compassion towards for they display shortcomings. Happy and fulfilled people do not take advantage of others so for those who do I pray they heal from the need they have to use others. As for those who truly needed my sensitivity unconditionally I continue to have great relationships with them.

As I grow older I realized my sensitivity has also made me invest in some of the most truly wonderful friendships of all time. One of my biggest investments is the friends I made and the family I am surrounded with and sometimes as you grow older this is all you need. As I grow older I’m much calmer and much more attuned to myself. I no longer give myself fully to others nor share more than I should. As I grow so does my lack of need to be liked and accepted by everyone I know… like I read somewhere why do you want everyone to like you when you don’t like everyone yourself?

As I grow older I practice awareness and living in the present for the future is unknown and the past is gone so all you really have is the present moment. The present will be a distant memory so I learned to make the most of it. I spend more quality time with my children and with my parents as I learned that creating lasting memories with the people you love is an investment in itself when all you have left are the memories.

In your growth what have you learned and what do you practice?

What We Carry

Published on by ohlala801 Comment

We all carry some kind of pain inside of us. Sometimes it is the loss of a loved one, a failure in a relationship, a betrayal by a close friend and so on… A lot of times life does let us down and the pain it leads to results in a low vibration which leads to a low emotion. Lately I’ve been unable to let go of some of what hurt me in the past. The pain still feels raw and all consuming. With time and self reflection I learned that it is not about letting go of the pain but about learning to carry it with us with grace. It is about accepting that there are things that hurt us in the past or continue to hurt us in the present and allowing ourselves to feel the pain fully rather then learning to suppress and surpass it. When you accept the pain as part of your journey in life and carry it with you instead of fight it you learn grace. The hurt and the depression it causes will always be there just like the joy and the aspirations will also be there. Just as life lets us down at times, life does also lift us up. So how do we deal with life’s downs and the low vibrations they cause while not allowing them to consume our lives? It is the belief that something better will come around the corner, just like the loss of a loved one a birth of a new loved one might happen, an honest relationship might follow a failed one and a friend with integrity might follow the betraying one. We can intentionally allow ourselves to feel gratitude and hope which offer a higher vibration which in turn leads to higher more positive emotions and outlook. So as we accept that the hurt will remain with us as part of our journey in life and that that is important for our wellbeing, we must also learn to envision a positive outcome afterwards. Instead of seeing pain and hurt as a drawback lets see them as experience, as a stepping stone that thickened our skin and made us wiser and more informed while we anticipate something better to come along the way.

The Awakening

Published on by ohlala80Leave a comment

As I’ve gotten older, a little wiser, a little calmer, many things have and come into perspective. I’ve started to become more conscious and more aware of myself and of the unhealthy patterns and beliefs I grew up with. One of the major revelations was how I was an immense pleaser conditioned to believing that others always came first. That if I excelled and others were pleased with me then I was a good person worthy of love and if I didn’t then I failed and was inferior. These thoughts and beliefs that I grew up believing, wether consciously or unconsciously were in fact sabotaging and detrimental to my life.

Reflecting back at my childhood I start to recognize how that pattern of being a pleaser might have emerged. I was born in Cairo and when I briefly returned back to my home country I remember being picked on at school and amongst my extended family for having a funny accent and for not appearing too local. When I became a teen my father was relocated again and to a beautiful, small, Arab country in the North of Africa called Tunisia where I owe a big portion of my adolescent years. Throughout my education in Tunisia and even when I moved to Brussels to complete my high school I was almost always one of the only Arabs at school. It was compulsory for me to learn French and learning French made my life easier in both countries. One can say I had a well rounded and interesting upbringing immersed in wonderful different cultures, beautiful countries and lovely experiences. Today there’s a term for people like me raised abroads, picking up different cultures and traditions along the way; they call us ‘Third Cutlire Kids’.. So due to being raised in different counties, amongst people who were different from me, away from my home country and extended family I learned the hard way that if you weren’t friendly and accommodating you ended up with no friends and felt alienated.

I returned to finally reside in my home country the UAE in college. I was 18 and I struggled with my identity at first. Again there was a lot of re adaptation to learn. I was a wide eyed and curious girl yearning to finally fit in and feel like I belonged with those around me. Yearning to feel that I was finally home. It was ironic because living abroad I was perceived as being too Arab and being in my country I was perceived as being too western. My openness and friendliness that I needed to cope in my life abroad were met with reservation and skepticism over here. Thankfully I became blessed with a wonderful group of friends in college who helped me and supported me in fitting in. I still have a special bond with those friends to this day.

I got engaged while still in college and being young and in love I went out of my way to be everything my fiancée’s heart desired. I never had a brother and my father as much as he loved and spoilt me was always away on business. My fiancées protectiveness of me was flattering and I wanted to be everything to him… hence I became a pleaser even more. After college when things got overwhelming as they tend to when you’re still so young, still trying to secure a job, be a wife and raise a child I would go down shame spirals getting depressed. I felt that if I couldn’t do it all then I failed.. I never thought of myself as simply human.

When I went through rough patches that normal people went through in life I felt inadequate. My lack of confidence and lack of belief in myself started to reflect on my face and actions. I felt insecure around other women and I constantly doubted myself. I doubted myself as a woman, I doubted myself as a mother, I even doubted myself as a wife… today I understand that a big part of that was because moving constantly from place to place and then getting engaged and married soon after never really gave me enough time to grow and learn who I truly was. My colorful and rich upbringing became a distant memory as I constantly felt I had to comply. I became a hollow outer shell of the lively girl I used to be.

Today and after struggling for several years, after my children have grown and life has become calmer and more stable allowing me to sit and reflect on myself I share with you four imporant lessons I learned that have changed my life tremendously. Lessons and revelations that took me years to comprehend and here I shall summarize them for you.

First, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. God created us human, perfect amongst all our imperfections, knowing that humans are fallible. So let’s have more compassion on ourselves and on each other, perfection is an exaggeration.

Second, surround yourself with people who uplift you, who support you, people you can learn useful things from. I was blessed to have such people around me, people whose friendship continues to make me flourish. The company you keep is very important that the prophet himself pbuh gave careful advice as to who we befriend and whom we surround ourselves with as that truly does affect us.

Third boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Boundaries are different from barriers. Boundaries express the will to honor and accept others while drawing the line that prevents them from negatively interfering or dictating your life.

Fourth and final revelation, being tolerant and respectful of others does not mean having to accept nor serve nor like everyone. You yourself can be the most perfect, most delightful peach and someone will still have a problem with peaches. This has everything to do with them not liking peaches and nothing to do with you. When you’ve reached that stage of maturity where you know, accept and love yourself wholeheartedly an abundance forms. This abundance will overflow from you giving you the capacity to love, accept and nourish others be it family or friends.

In conclusion to this month’s memoire on awareness and self reflection I remind you that life can be unpredictable and you will need your strength and your confidence to face this challenging, unpredictable yet still beautiful world. Knowing and having faith in yourself and in God unfolds the beauty and love around you. Life is a present so lets try to live it fully while resting assured that God is all merciful and all forgiving. In the morning when you wake up remind yourself of the wonderful human being that you are and of how far you’ve come and of how much you’ve learned and achieved. You are a fighter and you are a lover through all your ups and downs. Breath, draw a smile on your face and fill your heart with gratitude for you are as important and deserving of all the love and compassion and acceptance you so freely give to others.

Happy holidays, love and peace from my heart to yours.