Author: ohlala80

“Je vois la vie en rose.” Faith, Love and Gratitude are all I see and all I believe.

It’s Summer!

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And just like that summer is back with it’s golden rays, steamy heat and a promise of a memorable holiday. It seems like almost yesterday we greeted the beginning of the new academic year and now in a blink of an eye the academic year has ended and students are set free for the summer. It seems like only yesterday my eldest daughter started college and now she’s ready to be a sophomore. I remember how anxious I was about my daughter starting university. I worried about wether she will fit in, and wether she will continue doing well academically but here we are at the end of the academic year and she aced it! I’m eternally proud.

Everything is shinier and everything is brighter in the summer. Routine’s are thrown off as it is the time to sit back and relax and indulge in summer activities and leisure. Each summer I like to set an intention to create new memories and indulge in pleasurable activities before greeting fall again and going back to my usual routine. This year I plan to spend quality time with my family and friends, hit the beach and finally get that tan I’ve been dreaming of, bond with my children who I’ll be seeing more of and if the circumstances allow, possibly travel and smell fresh new air in another country. I would like to learn new things and embrace healthier habits, I’d like to be grateful for each passing day that we are alive promising us another chance to do better.

What are your intentions this summer?

Do Judge A Book By It’s Cover

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I know I know most of you think there’s a typo and that the title should be “Do Not Judge A Book By It’s Cover” but you thought wrong, there is no typo I meant it the way it was written. You should absolutely judge a book by it’s cover just as you should absolutely judge a person by how they present themselves. If I were to buy a book about cooking yet see the cover is a demonic devil eating the food then I would have second thoughts about purchasing that book just as I would have second thoughts about the message the author is conveying by choosing such a book cover. The way we present ourselves says a lot about us so I do not understand this new age concept of not judging others based on their appearances. People surely judge me by how I appear so why wouldn’t I judge them too? It’s only human. Given that it is our human nature to judge appearances one should think twice about how they present themselves. Some girls for instance go out half naked yet protest to the negative attention and harassment they receive especially from the opposite sex, arguing that what’s important is what’s inside of them not how they appear. Yet how do these girls expect not to be judged or harassed by how they appear? Same thing applies to the opposite gender. If a man chooses to go to out filled with tattoos and ripped jeans and piercings for instance and is astonished that no one takes him seriously or that in fact people are staying away from him then he should think twice. Just as you would not go to a job interview at an office dressed in beach wear why would you go out as a punk or a drunk and expect to be taken seriously? That is why certain entities enforce uniforms and if we go back to our faiths we realize that God almighty as well has guided us in how we should appear.

As a Muslim woman I adhere to the conditions that God has bestowed upon me and one of them is that I must present myself modestly and respectfully. God has set a certain criteria on how we should appear for our own protection. Even in other religions I find those who are full practitioners of their faith dressed modestly and humbly why? To respect their faith and to respect their bodies and because they know very well that they will be judged if not in this life then in the afterlife for how they chose to present themselves. To be taken seriously and to be safe one must put a lot of thought on how they appear. Sexual harassment and violation are triple as much against women who are revealing than those who present themselves modestly.

What you wear and how you choose to present yourself sends a message. That is why many organizations enforce uniforms such as schools, hospitals, the military etc… Being dressed appropriately sends the message that you respect yourself and the place you’re in. Being in uniform says that you are serious about your job be it at a school, hospital, hotel and so on… When you are greeted by a pilot in a captain’s attire you get the feeling that a capable professional will be flying you to your destination. When you talk to a woman who is dressed modestly you sense a respectful boundary between the two of you for the way she chose to conceal herself. When you go to a hospital and are greeted by a doctor in a white coat you receive the message that you are in the hands of someone responsible. Imagine if all the above occupations did not require uniforms or a certain formal attire? Would you even trust dealing with such individuals if they were not presented formally and accordingly? Would you trust your life on a doctor that shows up half naked to work? So yes it is human nature to judge appearances just as appearances reveal a lot about us. The next time you leave the house please give thought to how you appear because wether you like it or not you will be judged first by God then by the people around you and you shall be treated according to how you choose to present yourself.

A Year Older A Lifetime Wiser

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As I grow older I come to the realization more and more that the greatest achievements don’t lie in monetary materials but rather in emotional connection, quality time with loved ones and true healing and acceptance of oneself. Today I accept myself as I am. I will always be sensitive because I feel so deeply. I was once described as an antenna picking up other peoples emotions. Struggling with my own sensitivity and being prone to depression I always sensed other peoples struggles or joys. This is why I usually go the extra mile with people I meet even if we’ve just met. This didn’t necessarily work to my benefit as some people I went the extra mile with simply took advantage of it. I used to feel used and hurt however today I have no regrets. The people who took advantage of my kindness I still feel compassion towards for they display shortcomings. Happy and fulfilled people do not take advantage of others so for those who do I pray they heal from the need they have to use others. As for those who truly needed my sensitivity unconditionally I continue to have great relationships with them.

As I grow older I realized my sensitivity has also made me invest in some of the most truly wonderful friendships of all time. One of my biggest investments is the friends I made and the family I am surrounded with and sometimes as you grow older this is all you need. As I grow older I’m much calmer and much more attuned to myself. I no longer give myself fully to others nor share more than I should. As I grow so does my lack of need to be liked and accepted by everyone I know… like I read somewhere why do you want everyone to like you when you don’t like everyone yourself?

As I grow older I practice awareness and living in the present for the future is unknown and the past is gone so all you really have is the present moment. The present will be a distant memory so I learned to make the most of it. I spend more quality time with my children and with my parents as I learned that creating lasting memories with the people you love is an investment in itself when all you have left are the memories.

In your growth what have you learned and what do you practice?

What We Carry

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We all carry some kind of pain inside of us. Sometimes it is the loss of a loved one, a failure in a relationship, a betrayal by a close friend and so on… A lot of times life does let us down and the pain it leads to results in a low vibration which leads to a low emotion. Lately I’ve been unable to let go of some of what hurt me in the past. The pain still feels raw and all consuming. With time and self reflection I learned that it is not about letting go of the pain but about learning to carry it with us with grace. It is about accepting that there are things that hurt us in the past or continue to hurt us in the present and allowing ourselves to feel the pain fully rather then learning to suppress and surpass it. When you accept the pain as part of your journey in life and carry it with you instead of fight it you learn grace. The hurt and the depression it causes will always be there just like the joy and the aspirations will also be there. Just as life lets us down at times, life does also lift us up. So how do we deal with life’s downs and the low vibrations they cause while not allowing them to consume our lives? It is the belief that something better will come around the corner, just like the loss of a loved one a birth of a new loved one might happen, an honest relationship might follow a failed one and a friend with integrity might follow the betraying one. We can intentionally allow ourselves to feel gratitude and hope which offer a higher vibration which in turn leads to higher more positive emotions and outlook. So as we accept that the hurt will remain with us as part of our journey in life and that that is important for our wellbeing, we must also learn to envision a positive outcome afterwards. Instead of seeing pain and hurt as a drawback lets see them as experience, as a stepping stone that thickened our skin and made us wiser and more informed while we anticipate something better to come along the way.

The Ego

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Last month my entry was about honoring yourself and keeping the promises you make within. Like many people I struggle with sticking to my promises to myself sometimes. It’s easier to ditch the gym, procrastinate on my writing, slack on my online classes and organize the house tomorrow. Lately I learned that the ego has a big role to play in that. You see the ego detests and resists change ultimately residing us in the familiar. Even though the familiar may be detrimental to our growth and wellbeing we still seek it because well it’s familiar. We stay in painful relationships, we slack in our work and our duties, we ditch that job opportunity and we avoid that uncomfortable conversation for the sake of the familiar, the status quo.

The ego has such a huge influence on us it even leads to self sabotage. It does that by making us doubt ourselves and our abilities. According to research only 5 percent of our cognition is conscious while the remaining 95 percent is subconscious. The ego is part of the subconscious therefore it makes sense that the ego has a profound influence over the reality we create. Our subconscious has the power to drive us towards our dreams and the power to withhold us from them.

What’s the solution then? Well the solution first starts by being aware of this unhealthy dynamic with our subconscious minds. Being aware of the ego’s role and being aware of our limiting beliefs. Instead of feeling like we will fail at the new job why not consider it a win to even try? Wether we do in fact fail or not at the job or at the new course we are taking it is still a learning opportunity. When you look at it like that, like everything is a learning opportunity then failure doesn’t exist. Awarness should also come in the relationships we are keeping. Are these relationships expanding us or contracting us? Are these relationships making us thrive or are they pulling us back? What is the alternative and do we dare find it? The ego will ultimately tell us to stick to the familiar even if it hurts but our small conscious minds know better.

Awareness also comes in acknowledging the way the ego allows for self sabotage. Keeping us in bed when we’re supposed to get up, keeping us in the same unhealthy relationship, making us believe we are not good enough or smart enough for the job so why bother… and so on… Often times the ego will purposely make us sabotage our relationships and our jobs to fulfill that self professing delusion that we are not good enough.

Everything starts with awareness so while being aware of honoring yourself and the promises you give it let’s also be aware of the self limiting beliefs of the ego. Let’s strive to give more power to that 5 percent of our conscious minds as opposed to the unconscious.

And keep smiling 🙂

Honor Yourself

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With the beginning of the new year 2024 I’d like to reflect on a matter that really resonated with me. During my readings and when I’m on social media I come across passages or videos that truly intrigue me. In one particular video I happened to scroll by, the speaker said that we should honor the promises we give to ourselves. We are always told that we must keep our promises to others but who ever thought that there are promises you must keep for yourself? The speaker said honoring the promises we make for ourselves means for instance that when we say we’re going to wake up early in the morning that we must make sure to commit to waking up early in the morning. Another example is when we say we’re going to exercise and stay fit then we should commit to working out and staying fit. On a daily basis we make promises to ourselves that we don’t honor however we make those same promises and commitments to others and we honor them. We tell our friends we will be meeting them for brunch and we make sure we do meet them and on time. We tell our bosses that we will meet the deadline and finish the project on time and we do meet the deadline and finish our work on time. We tell our parents that we will accompany them to their doctor’s appointments and we do that to show support. We tell our children we will reward them when they ace their exams and we do reward them. However when we make similar promises to ourselves we tend to slack, to procastrinate, to self sabotage. We press that snooze button on our alarm clock way too many times, we slack off when it comes to exercising, we list our New Years resolutions and don’t accomplish half of that list. In a wonderful book I’m reading called “Manifest” by Roxi Nafousi she talks about our subconscious self sabotaging us when we try to accomplish something new. When we try to manifest new goals we must come out of our comfort zone and that is threatening to our subconscious. Our subconscious would rather us stay where we are comfortable and familiar rather than explore new opportunities and ideas, thus we self sabotage. We tell ourselves we know nothing about businesses and shall fail that business prospect, that we can never lose that weight so why try, that our dream partner doesn’t exist so we settle for the familiar traumatic relationships and so on…

It is time to take those steps and keep our promises to ourselves the same way we keep them with others. We owe ourselves the same courtesy we so freely offer others. Once we honor the promises we give ourselves we will be better able to achieve all that we desire, we will become better people because before anyone else we are being honest and are sincere to ourselves. We will be filled with an abundance of satisfaction from being true to ourselves and from that feeling of abundance we can continue to honor everyone else in a better way too.

Without Warning

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It hasn’t been my best year but I learned a lot. The bad times teach us lessons and give us wisdom and the good times make us flourish but if there’s one thing I learned the most it is that life changes without any warning. No matter how prepared you seem life will still throw you off guard. That is why I say it time and time again to savor the good moments. To enjoy the good times fully while they last. To be present with your families and loved ones. To say goodnight and kiss goodbye and to never go to bed in conflict. To let your last words be words of love and care. To perform your prayers dutifully and to take care of yourself diligently. To be so full inside with self love and care towards yourself and others so when the not so good times come by you are self sufficient and self secure. Being self sufficient with self love and self care towards yourself and others makes you more capable in facing the challenges lying ahead whilst believing that this too shall pass. So take care of yourself and take care of your loved ones for life gives no warning.

How many souls went to bed at night and did not get up the next morning? If you knew it was going to be your last night how would you spend it? Life gives no warnings. So spend what precious time you have left making amends and taking care of yourself and your relationships for in the end what else matters? And always remember that the good times give us strength and the bad times give us wisdom. C’est la vie 🌷

Wishing you all a happy happy new year filled with plenty of good times!

40’s

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It was 2020 and during the heart of the covid pandemic that I blew my 40th candle. Social distancing and seclusion got me re-aquainted with my true, inner self. Was it the age or was it the situation that did that? I believe it was a little bit of both.

Today while I am in my early 40’s I must admit that I am loving this age. I’m at an age where I’m not too young to be naive or impulsive nor am I too old to feel feeble and inefficient. I’m just right. I’m not too old to pursue my hobbies and interests nor am I too young to be impatient and dependent. I’m at a stage of calm. A stage of self reflection and self discovery. In my forties I now fully appreciate and accept myself as I am even with all my flaws. In my forties I no longer participate in heated discussions and I no longer find myself lost in dramas for all I want is peace. I’m at an age where my bond with my children has reached a higher, most amazing level, a level of friendship and companionship rather than constant discipline and apprehension. Today I can truly call my children my friends even with all our ups and downs. My relationship with my husband too has become calmer and more balanced as I truly accept and appreciate him as he is knowing that we are all fallible.

In my forities I discover peace and serenity and joy over the small things before the big things. My early cup of coffee, my exercise, my readings and my faith. In my forties I make new hobbies, engage in healthy habits and learn new things. At my forties and for the first time in my life I put myself as a priority. It makes sense to me now why Allah had bestowed upon prophet Mohammed pbuh the gift of Islam when he was forty for this is the golden age of contentment and gratitude.

Yes I am grateful today for how far I’ve come. How much I’ve achieved mainly raising three amazing children and managing a home and a marriage. Today I can kick back and relax as I return to my readings and my self re-discovery. Would I want to go back in time and do things differently? Absolutely… there’s so much I could’ve done better. However we can only move forwards and in moving forwards I promise to improve, forgive and accept myself and where life and God have brought me. As life starts to slow down and become calmer at forty I fully accept and love the woman I’ve become.

That being said I would like to share a quote I loved and related to about being in your 40s it said “Life begins at 40, anything before that is just practice.” And practice it truly is!

For The Love Of Palestine 🇵🇸

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As we sip our morning coffees and try to stay awake for yet another routine, uneventful day our Palestinian brothers and sisters tremble as they pray amidst bombs and fires. While we gather for a palatable lunch meal surrounded by our families and friends our Palestinian brothers and sisters scrape for drops of water for besides being robbed of their homeland, their source of food, water and electricity has been cut off from them as well.

The world stands still witnessing the injustices taking place in Palestine. The world stands still as Palestinian mothers hug their children for the last time. The world stands still as children are being robbed of their childhood, their families, their homes and their sense of security is torn apart. Our brothers and sisters in Palestine do not endure post traumatic stress because their traumas are never post, they are ongoing.

Today I use this space to express my agony at what’s taking place in this cruel world. A world where mothers and children are shot to death without mercy. I use this space to educate people of the many injustices taking place against the Palestinians, I use this space to voice my utter distaste at a world where one child is secure and lavished by his parents while another is left to die in the debris. So lets take a moment to pray for Palestine and lets take a moment of silence as we think of better ways to offer our support and let’s never take our sense of security for granted again.

Love & Spirituality

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There is an epidemic of depression in the world today. As a society we trivialize spirituality and love and emphasis on competition and personal gain. Instead of lifting each other up and working as a community we tear each other down competing against one another in order to get what we want. Today success is measured by monetary and material wealth rather than by love, peace and spiritual wellbeing. Ultimately by disregarding the spirit our lives have no meaning. The soul craves meaning just as the body craves oxygen. Without a spiritual outer shell we only know the mechanics of life without truly understanding it. And without truly understanding life we misuse it and in turn we cause suffering to ourselves and to others.

If we turn back to God and religion we realize that spirituality is at its core. In every religion there’s a return to the soul and to a greater meaning than temporary monetary gain. There’s love, care and compassion towards ourselves and towards others. There’s the offering of a helping hand and the giving to the poor and there’s treating thy neighbor or friend as you would treat yourself. Unless mankind can learn to go back to faith and spirituality sadness and depression shall continue to prevail.

If we study the lives of some famous philanthropists such as Mother Theresa or Ghandi we find one core similar component in all of them and that’s a love for giving. By giving, helping and nurturing others, such philanthropists thrive. When you offer a helping hand to those in crisis your own struggles start to look trivial and you get a true sense of accomplishment.

In a world with a high rate of depression we must start to look back inwards into our spirits and strive to once again live a life of love and compassion, a life where we lift those around us up with us as we seek to succeed rather than compete against them. For we as humans are meant to live as a clan, a community, in pairs and in groups and not in competition, only then can we find the true meaning of joy and fulfilment and much depression shall subside.