Author: ohlala80

“Je vois la vie en rose.” Faith, Love and Gratitude are all I see and all I believe.

What We Carry

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We all carry some kind of pain inside of us. Sometimes it is the loss of a loved one, a failure in a relationship, a betrayal by a close friend and so on… A lot of times life does let us down and the pain it leads to results in a low vibration which leads to a low emotion. Lately I’ve been unable to let go of some of what hurt me in the past. The pain still feels raw and all consuming. With time and self reflection I learned that it is not about letting go of the pain but about learning to carry it with us with grace. It is about accepting that there are things that hurt us in the past or continue to hurt us in the present and allowing ourselves to feel the pain fully rather then learning to suppress and surpass it. When you accept the pain as part of your journey in life and carry it with you instead of fight it you learn grace. The hurt and the depression it causes will always be there just like the joy and the aspirations will also be there. Just as life lets us down at times, life does also lift us up. So how do we deal with life’s downs and the low vibrations they cause while not allowing them to consume our lives? It is the belief that something better will come around the corner, just like the loss of a loved one a birth of a new loved one might happen, an honest relationship might follow a failed one and a friend with integrity might follow the betraying one. We can intentionally allow ourselves to feel gratitude and hope which offer a higher vibration which in turn leads to higher more positive emotions and outlook. So as we accept that the hurt will remain with us as part of our journey in life and that that is important for our wellbeing, we must also learn to envision a positive outcome afterwards. Instead of seeing pain and hurt as a drawback lets see them as experience, as a stepping stone that thickened our skin and made us wiser and more informed while we anticipate something better to come along the way.

The Ego

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Last month my entry was about honoring yourself and keeping the promises you make within. Like many people I struggle with sticking to my promises to myself sometimes. It’s easier to ditch the gym, procrastinate on my writing, slack on my online classes and organize the house tomorrow. Lately I learned that the ego has a big role to play in that. You see the ego detests and resists change ultimately residing us in the familiar. Even though the familiar may be detrimental to our growth and wellbeing we still seek it because well it’s familiar. We stay in painful relationships, we slack in our work and our duties, we ditch that job opportunity and we avoid that uncomfortable conversation for the sake of the familiar, the status quo.

The ego has such a huge influence on us it even leads to self sabotage. It does that by making us doubt ourselves and our abilities. According to research only 5 percent of our cognition is conscious while the remaining 95 percent is subconscious. The ego is part of the subconscious therefore it makes sense that the ego has a profound influence over the reality we create. Our subconscious has the power to drive us towards our dreams and the power to withhold us from them.

What’s the solution then? Well the solution first starts by being aware of this unhealthy dynamic with our subconscious minds. Being aware of the ego’s role and being aware of our limiting beliefs. Instead of feeling like we will fail at the new job why not consider it a win to even try? Wether we do in fact fail or not at the job or at the new course we are taking it is still a learning opportunity. When you look at it like that, like everything is a learning opportunity then failure doesn’t exist. Awarness should also come in the relationships we are keeping. Are these relationships expanding us or contracting us? Are these relationships making us thrive or are they pulling us back? What is the alternative and do we dare find it? The ego will ultimately tell us to stick to the familiar even if it hurts but our small conscious minds know better.

Awareness also comes in acknowledging the way the ego allows for self sabotage. Keeping us in bed when we’re supposed to get up, keeping us in the same unhealthy relationship, making us believe we are not good enough or smart enough for the job so why bother… and so on… Often times the ego will purposely make us sabotage our relationships and our jobs to fulfill that self professing delusion that we are not good enough.

Everything starts with awareness so while being aware of honoring yourself and the promises you give it let’s also be aware of the self limiting beliefs of the ego. Let’s strive to give more power to that 5 percent of our conscious minds as opposed to the unconscious.

And keep smiling 🙂

Honor Yourself

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With the beginning of the new year 2024 I’d like to reflect on a matter that really resonated with me. During my readings and when I’m on social media I come across passages or videos that truly intrigue me. In one particular video I happened to scroll by, the speaker said that we should honor the promises we give to ourselves. We are always told that we must keep our promises to others but who ever thought that there are promises you must keep for yourself? The speaker said honoring the promises we make for ourselves means for instance that when we say we’re going to wake up early in the morning that we must make sure to commit to waking up early in the morning. Another example is when we say we’re going to exercise and stay fit then we should commit to working out and staying fit. On a daily basis we make promises to ourselves that we don’t honor however we make those same promises and commitments to others and we honor them. We tell our friends we will be meeting them for brunch and we make sure we do meet them and on time. We tell our bosses that we will meet the deadline and finish the project on time and we do meet the deadline and finish our work on time. We tell our parents that we will accompany them to their doctor’s appointments and we do that to show support. We tell our children we will reward them when they ace their exams and we do reward them. However when we make similar promises to ourselves we tend to slack, to procastrinate, to self sabotage. We press that snooze button on our alarm clock way too many times, we slack off when it comes to exercising, we list our New Years resolutions and don’t accomplish half of that list. In a wonderful book I’m reading called “Manifest” by Roxi Nafousi she talks about our subconscious self sabotaging us when we try to accomplish something new. When we try to manifest new goals we must come out of our comfort zone and that is threatening to our subconscious. Our subconscious would rather us stay where we are comfortable and familiar rather than explore new opportunities and ideas, thus we self sabotage. We tell ourselves we know nothing about businesses and shall fail that business prospect, that we can never lose that weight so why try, that our dream partner doesn’t exist so we settle for the familiar traumatic relationships and so on…

It is time to take those steps and keep our promises to ourselves the same way we keep them with others. We owe ourselves the same courtesy we so freely offer others. Once we honor the promises we give ourselves we will be better able to achieve all that we desire, we will become better people because before anyone else we are being honest and are sincere to ourselves. We will be filled with an abundance of satisfaction from being true to ourselves and from that feeling of abundance we can continue to honor everyone else in a better way too.

Without Warning

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It hasn’t been my best year but I learned a lot. The bad times teach us lessons and give us wisdom and the good times make us flourish but if there’s one thing I learned the most it is that life changes without any warning. No matter how prepared you seem life will still throw you off guard. That is why I say it time and time again to savor the good moments. To enjoy the good times fully while they last. To be present with your families and loved ones. To say goodnight and kiss goodbye and to never go to bed in conflict. To let your last words be words of love and care. To perform your prayers dutifully and to take care of yourself diligently. To be so full inside with self love and care towards yourself and others so when the not so good times come by you are self sufficient and self secure. Being self sufficient with self love and self care towards yourself and others makes you more capable in facing the challenges lying ahead whilst believing that this too shall pass. So take care of yourself and take care of your loved ones for life gives no warning.

How many souls went to bed at night and did not get up the next morning? If you knew it was going to be your last night how would you spend it? Life gives no warnings. So spend what precious time you have left making amends and taking care of yourself and your relationships for in the end what else matters? And always remember that the good times give us strength and the bad times give us wisdom. C’est la vie 🌷

Wishing you all a happy happy new year filled with plenty of good times!

40’s

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It was 2020 and during the heart of the covid pandemic that I blew my 40th candle. Social distancing and seclusion got me re-aquainted with my true, inner self. Was it the age or was it the situation that did that? I believe it was a little bit of both.

Today while I am in my early 40’s I must admit that I am loving this age. I’m at an age where I’m not too young to be naive or impulsive nor am I too old to feel feeble and inefficient. I’m just right. I’m not too old to pursue my hobbies and interests nor am I too young to be impatient and dependent. I’m at a stage of calm. A stage of self reflection and self discovery. In my forties I now fully appreciate and accept myself as I am even with all my flaws. In my forties I no longer participate in heated discussions and I no longer find myself lost in dramas for all I want is peace. I’m at an age where my bond with my children has reached a higher, most amazing level, a level of friendship and companionship rather than constant discipline and apprehension. Today I can truly call my children my friends even with all our ups and downs. My relationship with my husband too has become calmer and more balanced as I truly accept and appreciate him as he is knowing that we are all fallible.

In my forities I discover peace and serenity and joy over the small things before the big things. My early cup of coffee, my exercise, my readings and my faith. In my forties I make new hobbies, engage in healthy habits and learn new things. At my forties and for the first time in my life I put myself as a priority. It makes sense to me now why Allah had bestowed upon prophet Mohammed pbuh the gift of Islam when he was forty for this is the golden age of contentment and gratitude.

Yes I am grateful today for how far I’ve come. How much I’ve achieved mainly raising three amazing children and managing a home and a marriage. Today I can kick back and relax as I return to my readings and my self re-discovery. Would I want to go back in time and do things differently? Absolutely… there’s so much I could’ve done better. However we can only move forwards and in moving forwards I promise to improve, forgive and accept myself and where life and God have brought me. As life starts to slow down and become calmer at forty I fully accept and love the woman I’ve become.

That being said I would like to share a quote I loved and related to about being in your 40s it said “Life begins at 40, anything before that is just practice.” And practice it truly is!

For The Love Of Palestine 🇵🇸

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As we sip our morning coffees and try to stay awake for yet another routine, uneventful day our Palestinian brothers and sisters tremble as they pray amidst bombs and fires. While we gather for a palatable lunch meal surrounded by our families and friends our Palestinian brothers and sisters scrape for drops of water for besides being robbed of their homeland, their source of food, water and electricity has been cut off from them as well.

The world stands still witnessing the injustices taking place in Palestine. The world stands still as Palestinian mothers hug their children for the last time. The world stands still as children are being robbed of their childhood, their families, their homes and their sense of security is torn apart. Our brothers and sisters in Palestine do not endure post traumatic stress because their traumas are never post, they are ongoing.

Today I use this space to express my agony at what’s taking place in this cruel world. A world where mothers and children are shot to death without mercy. I use this space to educate people of the many injustices taking place against the Palestinians, I use this space to voice my utter distaste at a world where one child is secure and lavished by his parents while another is left to die in the debris. So lets take a moment to pray for Palestine and lets take a moment of silence as we think of better ways to offer our support and let’s never take our sense of security for granted again.

Love & Spirituality

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There is an epidemic of depression in the world today. As a society we trivialize spirituality and love and emphasis on competition and personal gain. Instead of lifting each other up and working as a community we tear each other down competing against one another in order to get what we want. Today success is measured by monetary and material wealth rather than by love, peace and spiritual wellbeing. Ultimately by disregarding the spirit our lives have no meaning. The soul craves meaning just as the body craves oxygen. Without a spiritual outer shell we only know the mechanics of life without truly understanding it. And without truly understanding life we misuse it and in turn we cause suffering to ourselves and to others.

If we turn back to God and religion we realize that spirituality is at its core. In every religion there’s a return to the soul and to a greater meaning than temporary monetary gain. There’s love, care and compassion towards ourselves and towards others. There’s the offering of a helping hand and the giving to the poor and there’s treating thy neighbor or friend as you would treat yourself. Unless mankind can learn to go back to faith and spirituality sadness and depression shall continue to prevail.

If we study the lives of some famous philanthropists such as Mother Theresa or Ghandi we find one core similar component in all of them and that’s a love for giving. By giving, helping and nurturing others, such philanthropists thrive. When you offer a helping hand to those in crisis your own struggles start to look trivial and you get a true sense of accomplishment.

In a world with a high rate of depression we must start to look back inwards into our spirits and strive to once again live a life of love and compassion, a life where we lift those around us up with us as we seek to succeed rather than compete against them. For we as humans are meant to live as a clan, a community, in pairs and in groups and not in competition, only then can we find the true meaning of joy and fulfilment and much depression shall subside.

To My Neice With Love

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Sugar and spice and everything nice

Being with her is fun not once but twice

A cheeky little critter

Knows she’s a winner

Loved by all 

Big and small

On her birthday I have many wishes

With lots of hugs and kisses

I wish her the best

As one day she shall leave the nest

Dedicated to my lovely niece Maha

Finding meaning & purpose beyond parenting

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I read somewhere that a parents job is never over it simply evolves.. that beating heart of a parent yearns and longs for their child no matter how old or independent they get. When they are happy we are joyous and when they are sad or ill we ask ourselves what did we do wrong. Our children are an extension to ourselves.

As the children grow older though and more independent mothers especially tend to feel a little lost and unessential. Similar to when men retire we tend to feel like a big part of us goes missing. I say this as I’m struggling to find myself again. Struggling to find my purpose and meaning in life after raising my three terrific kids.

What is my passion? What is it that will spur me to get up in the morning and make me feel adequate again? A mothers job never ends and the constant worry is still there however now there’s no baby crying to be held all through the night and day, no toddler learning to walk and talk, and no child that looks at you like you’re their super hero. In my life right now there’s three teenagers working hard to establish their own identities separate from their parents.

I know my writings have been centered a lot on parenting lately but parenting and watching my children grow has been a big part of my life for the past eighteen years that I struggle to re-discover my identity now that my children have grown. I never understood it when other parents would tell me to enjoy every moment with my babies as they grow too fast until now… they surely do and so does the love and care that comes with it.

Till I find my identity and purpose again separate from my children I continue to read passionately and write thoughtfully and enjoy life’s simple pleasures. I know I will find myself again even if it takes time.

Do you know who you are you and what drives you to get up in the morning?

Congratulations Fatma 👩🏻‍🎓

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Congratulations to this beautiful soul who made me the proud mama I am today. Congratulations to my eldest child Fatma, the girl who taught me how to be a better and more tolerant person. It seems like only yesterday you were a wide eyed little toddler exploring pre-school. Today you are not just my eldest daughter you truly are my best friend. As you close this chapter on school and open a new chapter in your life I wish you a life not short of greatness, a life of exploration and adventure, a life that will quench your thirst for learning in the most amazing of ways. I have no doubt you will achieve remarkable things in life as you embark on this new journey. Watch out uni you’re getting a special one, one who is utterly outstanding. Best of luck my love and thank you for giving me the honor of being your mother. اللهم لك الحمد 🤲🏻