Author: ohlala80

As we sip our morning coffees and try to stay awake for yet another routine, uneventful day our Palestinian brothers and sisters tremble as they pray amidst bombs and fires. While we gather for a palatable lunch meal surrounded by our families and friends our Palestinian brothers and sisters scrape for drops of water for besides being robbed of their homeland, their source of food, water and electricity has been cut off from them as well.

The world stands still witnessing the injustices taking place in Palestine. The world stands still as Palestinian mothers hug their children for the last time. The world stands still as children are being robbed of their childhood, their families, their homes and their sense of security is torn apart. Our brothers and sisters in Palestine do not endure post traumatic stress because their traumas are never post, they are ongoing.

Today I use this space to express my agony at what’s taking place in this cruel world. A world where mothers and children are shot to death without mercy. I use this space to educate people of the many injustices taking place against the Palestinians, I use this space to voice my utter distaste at a world where one child is secure and lavished by his parents while another is left to die in the debris. So lets take a moment to pray for Palestine and lets take a moment of silence as we think of better ways to offer our support and let’s never take our sense of security for granted again.

There is an epidemic of depression in the world today. As a society we trivialize spirituality and love and emphasis on competition and personal gain. Instead of lifting each other up and working as a community we tear each other down competing against one another in order to get what we want. Today success is measured by monetary and material wealth rather than by love, peace and spiritual wellbeing. Ultimately by disregarding the spirit our lives have no meaning. The soul craves meaning just as the body craves oxygen. Without a spiritual outer shell we only know the mechanics of life without truly understanding it. And without truly understanding life we misuse it and in turn we cause suffering to ourselves and to others.

If we turn back to God and religion we realize that spirituality is at its core. In every religion there’s a return to the soul and to a greater meaning than temporary monetary gain. There’s love, care and compassion towards ourselves and towards others. There’s the offering of a helping hand and the giving to the poor and there’s treating thy neighbor or friend as you would treat yourself. Unless mankind can learn to go back to faith and spirituality sadness and depression shall continue to prevail.

If we study the lives of some famous philanthropists such as Mother Theresa or Ghandi we find one core similar component in all of them and that’s a love for giving. By giving, helping and nurturing others, such philanthropists thrive. When you offer a helping hand to those in crisis your own struggles start to look trivial and you get a true sense of accomplishment.

In a world with a high rate of depression we must start to look back inwards into our spirits and strive to once again live a life of love and compassion, a life where we lift those around us up with us as we seek to succeed rather than compete against them. For we as humans are meant to live as a clan, a community, in pairs and in groups and not in competition, only then can we find the true meaning of joy and fulfilment and much depression shall subside.

Sugar and spice and everything nice

Being with her is fun not once but twice

A cheeky little critter

Knows she’s a winner

Loved by all 

Big and small

On her birthday I have many wishes

With lots of hugs and kisses

I wish her the best

As one day she shall leave the nest

Dedicated to my lovely niece Maha

I read somewhere that a parents job is never over it simply evolves.. that beating heart of a parent yearns and longs for their child no matter how old or independent they get. When they are happy we are joyous and when they are sad or ill we ask ourselves what did we do wrong. Our children are an extension to ourselves.

As the children grow older though and more independent mothers especially tend to feel a little lost and unessential. Similar to when men retire we tend to feel like a big part of us goes missing. I say this as I’m struggling to find myself again. Struggling to find my purpose and meaning in life after raising my three terrific kids.

What is my passion? What is it that will spur me to get up in the morning and make me feel adequate again? A mothers job never ends and the constant worry is still there however now there’s no baby crying to be held all through the night and day, no toddler learning to walk and talk, and no child that looks at you like you’re their super hero. In my life right now there’s three teenagers working hard to establish their own identities separate from their parents.

I know my writings have been centered a lot on parenting lately but parenting and watching my children grow has been a big part of my life for the past eighteen years that I struggle to re-discover my identity now that my children have grown. I never understood it when other parents would tell me to enjoy every moment with my babies as they grow too fast until now… they surely do and so does the love and care that comes with it.

Till I find my identity and purpose again separate from my children I continue to read passionately and write thoughtfully and enjoy life’s simple pleasures. I know I will find myself again even if it takes time.

Do you know who you are you and what drives you to get up in the morning?

Congratulations to this beautiful soul who made me the proud mama I am today. Congratulations to my eldest child Fatma, the girl who taught me how to be a better and more tolerant person. It seems like only yesterday you were a wide eyed little toddler exploring pre-school. Today you are not just my eldest daughter you truly are my best friend. As you close this chapter on school and open a new chapter in your life I wish you a life not short of greatness, a life of exploration and adventure, a life that will quench your thirst for learning in the most amazing of ways. I have no doubt you will achieve remarkable things in life as you embark on this new journey. Watch out uni you’re getting a special one, one who is utterly outstanding. Best of luck my love and thank you for giving me the honor of being your mother. اللهم لك الحمد 🤲🏻

I’m social and upbeat

Yet often I feel alone

I’m confident in my decisions

Yet question them daily

I love being a mother

Yet I still worry if I’m doing it right

I want my children to grow

Yet miss their baby innocence

I’m hopeful and positive

Yet smile through my tears

I want a break from my life

Yet can’t imagine a different one

I’m happily married

Yet it’s one of the hardest things i’ve had to do

I’ve learned so much

Yet still discovering there’s much I don’t know

I’m excited for the future

Yet I constantly keep looking back wishing I could’ve done things differently

I feel accomplished

Yet still question my worth

I feel eloquent

Yet still struggle with what to write

I am content with all I have

Yet still struggle with anxiety

I’m not perfect

Yet I am undeniably human

There’s a lot more I need

Yet I am still truly blessed.

Small acts of kindness cause an endless ripple. I read somewhere that everybody you know carries a sad story inside of them that no one knows anything about so be kind always. When you see the old cleaner sweeping away at the malls share a smile , when you’re ready to pay at the cashier make eye contact and say thank you. When you see an elderly person try to lift things offer a helping hand. The world needs more kindness and kindness doesn’t have to cost a dime. In Islam every small or big act of kindness is rewarded in the after life. Islam dictates that acts of kindness form a light in the believers grave that will continue to illuminate his path to heaven on the day of judgement. So if you can be anything tomorrow be kind.

As we encounter the holy monty of Ramadan, the month the holy Quran descended from heaven, the month we fast united and pray alongside one another I like to remind you and myself of the real meaning and merit behind Ramadan.

Ramadan is the month we re-evaluate our priorities. It is the month where prayer and supplication come first. It is the month of discipline not just in our diets but in our minds and bodies as well. Fasting isn’t just about withholding from food, it is also about withholding from gossip, resentment and anger. It is about complete submission to God and while having faith in our hearts guiding us. Ramadan isn’t just about not eating and feasting at night, it is about re-evaluating our priorities, creating healthy habits, gaining closeness and giving complete trust in Allah al mighty and focusing on our spirituality. Ramadan is about forgiveness and givingand finding your potential as a person. Ramadan is about breaking unhealthy cycles and replacing them with healthier options.

There is just so much goodness to this holy month that if we work hard, makes us realize our optimal potential as human beings. When practiced properly the month of Ramadan makes us realize that we can in fact be better human beings and that we can be healthier and more pious to our faith. Ramadan is not just the month of fasting, it is a proper way of life that the devoted follow. Ramadan is simply a reminder of all the good we are capable of doing through our fasting and worship. Our bodies detoxify and our souls cleanse. May you experience Ramadan to its optimal potential and may we together grow as better, humbler and more devoted human beings.

Ramadan Kareem.

Nothing prepares us for what it’s gonna be like when we become parents. No book or lecture gives parenting justice. For when that precious being comes to life only then are we awakened to perform the hardest job on earth… parenting. We learn to become parents first and foremost from our children and it sure is a rollercoaster ride.

Our first instincts as parents are how to keep them alive. We stress over making sure they eat right, sleep well and are warm enough all the while telling ourselves that once they can eat solids it will get easier, once they start walking it will get easier, once they enter school it will get easier but guess what, there is no easier, each phase comes with it’s own set of challenges.

Today I am a blessed mom of three teens. Sure they bathe themselves, feed themselves and are pretty independent, you’d think the hard part of parenting is over but boy with teens it’s a whole other story. With teens you get the mood swings, the talking back, the assertion of their fresh new personalities where they suddenly know more than you the parent who birthed and raised them. Suddenly we are the old fashioned ones, the clueless ones, while they develop a know-it-all attitude. What happened to when I was their superhero who they’d turn to for comfort and security? What happened to when I could lure them into listening to me by bribing them with a new toy or their favorite ice cream? It’s a bitter sweet feeling. You pine for the old days when they were still a handful, young, innocent child and you also feel proud watching them grow and gain their independence.

My eldest child is now preparing to go to college. I wish I could just sit back and relax and say finally she’s leaving the nest… but it isn’t that simple. With older kids you worry if they are making the right decisions, if they’re mixing with the right friends, if they’re able to put boundaries, if they are being bullied or not and the list goes on.

After many years I came to the realization that children teach us how to become parents and they’re the ones that allow us to learn more about ourselves. It’s naive to think that there’s one stage easier than the other, for a parents job is never truly over. You hold them in your arms and you blink and suddenly they are young adults fulfilling their wonderful destinies as you slowly learn to let go and be their parents from afar.