When one of life’s misfortunes strike so many mixed emotions follow. It could be bad news, a financial struggle, health issues, loss of a loved one, failure at school or work… We’ve all been there and we’ve all had to battle some sort of misfortune… the list goes on…

At first the news washes over you like a gush of cold water, washing your entire body and soul with a sensation of shock and disbelief as nothing has prepared you for what’s happening. Your heart starts racing, beating like it could tear through your chest, your palms start sweating, your head becomes light, your breath becomes heavier and suddenly everything is spinning. The room, your thoughts, the past, the present everything morphs into one giant hurricane spinning around you as you try in vain to grasp whatever you can to avoid being blown away. Inevitably you start pondering about the unexpected misfortune while the questions start flooding in… How could this happen? Why did this happen? Why me? What did I do wrong? Am I being punished? And the worst question of it all is why isn’t it happening to somebody else? So many questions start rising as one starts reaching out for closure over what’s taking place. Fear and disbelief turn into anger and rage. You try to regain your breath you try to stop the spinning as you allow the calamity to wash over you… and then the tears start pouring… like the rain… slowly washing away at your broken soul.

Everybody talks about the misfortunes that come with life’s tribulations… No one talks about all the things you gain… No one talks about the realization of how strong you discover you truly are. There’s a strength in you that you never knew existed… Suddenly everythig becomes more clear. You learn who your true friends are as masks are suddenly shed away. You gain perspective of things; suddenly the matters that used to consume you like having a shortage of help, debt, missing a vacation, a messy home, stubborn children, a difficult boss, extra weight… all seem secondary. Nothing is troubling you as much as the tribulation taking place right now and everything else that used to trouble you in the past, all of a sudden seem so small.. Oh what you would give to go back to life before the tribulation. You learn how fickle life is, that there is no certainty except for the certainty of God Al Mighty and you become more pious. 

When I asked myself why me? What did I do wrong and is this a punishment I came to the realization that all the prophets who were almost as pure as the angels went through major calamities themselves… and that thought comforted me… perhaps I was being cleansed… perhaps I was gaining perspective… perhaps it was another reminder that this life is temporary and that nothing in this life truly belongs to us… It all belongs to God Al Mighty. The prophets in Islam and in many other religions went through several calamities and tribulations but were always protected by the Al Mighty so what makes us think we are any better with all our sins? 

If I can give one word of advice after what I’ve experienced it is to allow the feelings of confusion, the rage, the disbelief, the questions allow all of it.. allow the shock, allow it all to wash all over you and after you are done mourning and after your breathing stabilizes and your heart beat starts going back to a normal rhythm then you can ask the ultimate question which is this, What do I need to do to take care of myself in order to move forwards with this. How do I cope? How do I ask for help when I need it? Cause like it or not life, your family, your friends, time, they all move forwards, nothing is going to stop for your misfortune… True friends will sympathize, family will offer warm support but only you and you alone can truly lift yourself up and face the storm. You must rise above this misfortune. You must take care of yourself and make the best of the situation. You learn to return to God. At first it is inconceivable that there is a best to the situation. At first it feels like it’s the end… the end of everything. However something magical does happen… suddenly… and without expecting it everything else in life seems small… what you used to agonize about suddenly becomes secondary as now your entire focus is on the calamity you are experiencing and how to get through it. The magical thing is that you will make it through. You learn to relinquish control and surrender all to God and to trust God and trust yourself that you will get through it just as everyone around you has gone through theirs. Keep hopeful and enjoy living. Be more intentional about your life and choose to live in the present for this is the only thing you can control. Be grateful and thankful for the strength you never knew you had, for the lessons you are learning and for the small and the big pleasures in life that you once took for granted. You will get through this.

The good news is nothing lasts forever, the bad news is nothing lasts forever.