Farewell Bella Bear
Author: ohlala80
“Je vois la vie en rose.”
Faith, Love and Gratitude are all I see and all I believe.
Happy New Year 2025! 🎉
As we part with the past year and welcome the new one I can’t help but realize how much faster each year goes compared to the one before… it worries me how time flies and it also reminds me to seize every moment and savor every experience before it too becomes something of the past. We’ve aged, we’ve cried, we’ve laughed and we’ve formed lasting memories all in a blink of an eye. With every year we are blessed with the opportunity to make new amends and learn from prior experiences. I read somewhere that the good news is nothing lasts forever and the bad news is nothing lasts forever and so do the years… we will never be this age before or have this moment again so let’s be more mindful of the present making the most of it and let’s be more optimistic of the future with whatever it holds.
As we welcome the new year I take this opportunity to thank those chosen friends who healed hearts they didn’t break. To the friends who listened to me as I repeated the same story over and over again. To the friend and family member who encouraged me and believed in me when I found it hard to believe in myself. To those who gave me inspiration and helped me find my passions in life.
To those whose 2024 wasn’t as glamorous enough or post worthy enough, whose 2024 was about healing and survival rather than celebrations and innovations, the fact that you made it another year is celebration enough. Celebrate yourself you are enough.
Happy New Year everybody and may you enjoy it fully emerging yourself in every new experience! 🎉 🎊 🎇
Vulnerability, Strength or Weakness?
What is vulnerability and is it a sign of strength or weakness? Vulnerability to me is the ability to reveal or share parts of ourselves that may lead to judgement directly impacting our sense of being. For many, showing ones vulnerability may be perceived as a sign of weakness however the intent on showing ones vulnerability in itself, in my opinion, is the greatest form of strength. Vulnerability is a form of sharing, bonding and mutual understanding, the experience of exposing and experiencing those very sensitive parts of ourselves and to be willingly open to judgement or criticism requires great strength.
Being vulnerable with your loved ones opens opportunities for communication, bonding and acceptance. Vulnerability isn’t just about sharing your emotions. It’s about sharing what’s deep within, even at the risk of being rejected. Vulnerability is something we tend to ignore in our day-to-day life, however, without it, we miss the core to our being. We miss our authenticity.
Vulnerability doesn’t only center upon feelings and emotions it is also about sharing achievements, milestones and experiences. To be brave enough to take that fist step wether it is in your career or in an important life decision, to share your accomplishments and be open to criticism. Vulnerablility strengthens us as human beings as it makes us authentic sharing parts of ourselves and our lives that might feel too delicate to share.
Just like a job, a test or an achievement it’s not always going to be easy. Sometimes one worries that exposing our vulnerabilities may be used against us, that we will not be loved the way we want to be loved if we were authentic, however it requires confidence and a strong belief in yourself to share your vulnerability.
In today’s society we are conditioned to mask what may be perceived as weaknesses, however, these weaknesses, such as fears, our dreams and aspirations are the essence to our being. A lot of people today are hiding behind that mask, afraid of revealing who they truly are. Social media, job titles, statuses are all masks we tend to hide behind to mask our vulnerability. Sharing this post is a an act of vulnerability. How my posts are regarded and perceived is a form of vulnerability. You must be brave enough to take that first step towards vulnerability or forever remain confined in the same dilemma of living an inauthentic life.
Measuring Happiness
In our consumer driven, material pursuing world we are mislead into believing that success is measured by our career, wealth and social status. With time and since we were hit with covid I’ve come to realize that true success is measured by having faith, health, self acceptance, family bonds, friendships and the ability to enjoy the present. If careers were a measure of success then CEO’s would be amongst the happiest of people yet most times they are the most stressed. Often times in their quest to reach the top of their career ladders, they sacrifice their connections with their families and friends and are amongst the loneliest of people. If wealth was a measure of success then the wealthiest people would be the the most content but more often than not they’re the ones who suffer addictions and depression and are taken advantage of. If social status was a measure of success then presidents would be able to roam around their countries freely without worrying about their safety however wherever they go they are surrounded by guards and security and are abided by protocol and politics.
Sometimes it is the people with the simplest lives who are the happiest. People who have made the conscious effort to live in the present moment and enjoy it fully without worrying about the past or the future. Simple lives lived in nature using your hands to build things and make things and to cook your own food can bring true happiness. In a book I read called Ikigai a study was conduced on a large group of Japanese people who lived to be over 100 years old and still maintained good health showed that those people have lived a simple life full of purpose. They grew their own crops, tended their own gardens, sowed their own clothes and commuted by bikes or on foot to work regardless of how old they were. They were constantly moving and constantly creating with pleasure. Their sense of purpose was derived from doing most of their daily chores themselves regardless of how old they were. They led simple lives yet they lived it with joy excelling at whatever simple task they did wether it was cooking or farming or sewing.
So what if true success isn’t about how much money you make or what your position is in your career. What if it’s about the meaningful connections you make with others, how you care for yourself, the healthy food you intake and the choices you make to wake up every morning with gratitude doing what you do in life well and with pleasure. To live in the present moment and to realize that true happiness truly comes easier than you think from the simplest things in life… For me this was a true awakening.
Depression And The Modern World
This month I talk about a matter that I see as a pandemic in the world today. This month I tackle a subject that I’ve been wondering about and struggling with for a long time. This entry is about the subject of depression. I want to talk about depression because I’ve noticed a rise in the condition in the world today. One would think that with all the technological advancements and urbanized modern day living, life would be easier and people would be happier but that is not the case. In this entry I focus on nourishment, urbanized living and social media as the leading causes of depression.
If we look at the past, people lived with less processed food and more natural produce. Eating was cleaner and men and women hunted and gathered their nourishment themselves rather than bought store preserved products. Food today is genetically modified, chemically preserved and lack the nutrients needed for our health. Today as well, populations are increasingly overfed, malnourished, inactive, sleep deprived, socially isolated and sunlight-deficient. Today urbanized living and lack of proper nourishment are a leading cause of depression.
There seems to be a correlation between modern urbanization and depression. Rural inhabitants exhibit less symptoms of depression perhaps due to their simpler lifestyles. Rural areas are marked by their tranquility, open spaces, and closeness to nature. Natural beauty and peace prevail in rural areas and living there offers an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city. It is also more affordable living in rural areas which offers more financial flexibility as opposed to the higher cost of living in the city. Living in the city requires a higher income to sustain an adequate lifestyle which is a huge form of stress that can lead to depression.
Thirdly today, social media is a leading contributor to depression. Social media has made life about the individual rather than the collective. We as humans are meant to live as clans and tribes supporting each other and working as a collective. Social media on the other hand has unequivocally made people focus on themselves and themselves alone. The platforms are designed to be addictive and popularity is misconstrued by being measured by the number of views and likes one gets per post. Today success is measured by who’s food recipe got the most feedback and who’s new vacation got the most comments and who’s post got the most likes and who has the most followers. Social media despite having some pros has unquestionably led to narcissism. Today validation is seeked over the internet as opposed to real life meaningful connections. The term Fomo emerges; “Fear of missing out” one fears that if they do not engage in social media as others do that they’ll miss out on connections, trends, news and much more, leading to more fear and anxiety and eventually depression. One of the primary ways social media contributes to depression is through social comparison. Users often compare their lives to the thought-out representations of others that they encounter online. We need to take a step back and look at the effect technology has on our society in terms of people needing instant gratification by indulging in social media rather than interacting with the real community. Children and teens especially are losing the social skills required to create meaningful true relationships with others as they are constantly receiving the false dopamine hit engaging online.
May we educate ourselves and become better observers to these factors that are contributing to the rise of depression in our world today. Eating nutritiously, living a simpler life, and disengaging from social media may create a drastic positive impact on our mental healths. A small ripple of change can offer great rewards.
Happy Emirati Women’s Day
As my nation celebrates its women and recognizes them as a vital component of society today, I would like to extend my sincere wishes to all women out there. From mothers and educators to business women big and small you mean something to this nation, you matter and your contributions shall not go unnoticed. Women are the pillars of their households and the pedestals to their families. Wether you’re a mother, an aunt a daughter or a sister your presence and your efforts are recognized. Today the country acknowledges you and celebrates all your efforts in contributing to this nation. Women and men are not equal, women and men are different and their gender roles are different as well. It is heinous to presume that women can do all that men do for as this quote indicates, “Women don’t do what men do, women do what men can’t do,” Each has their own unique qualities that complete one another it is not a competition it is a collaboration. So happy Emirati Women’s Day to me, you and every Emirati women out there!
To My Shining Star
From the day you were born I knew you were special. We named you Noora and just like the meaning of your name you were always “Noor” which means light, shining and lighting up every room by your presence. A much sought out baby your big grey eyes searched mine intently as you wiggled and kicked in my arms full of life.
As the years went by I watched you grow into the beautiful young lady you are today. Sixteen years just flew buy… too quickly… too fast… Looking back I covet the beautiful memories we shared, the songs we created and the poems and the games we played. You aced school and was always the star of the class. At the young age of eleven we discovered your talent in crocheting and you created your very first crochet bunny all on your own. And then at the age of twelve you excelled in horse riding even when you had a serious accident falling head first off the horse, as soon as your condition permitted you were back on the horse determined to ride again full of bravery. You always persevered, never giving up. I am in awe at your strength. While most girls your age followed tick tock or spent hours on makeup tutorials, you were always learning and always creating charming things such as your picturesque artwork, your delightful handmade creations, your fascinating crafts and much more.
You’re a loyal friend and a good influence on those around you. Not only friends seek you but parents as well long for you to befriend their daughters. Noora you are a star, a light from God. You attract people and goodness wherever you are. So happy sweet 16 my love. May you continue to shine bright in every way I have no doubt that amazing things are in store for you as you continue to dazzle everyone by your greatness.
It’s Summer!
And just like that summer is back with it’s golden rays, steamy heat and a promise of a memorable holiday. It seems like almost yesterday we greeted the beginning of the new academic year and now in a blink of an eye the academic year has ended and students are set free for the summer. It seems like only yesterday my eldest daughter started college and now she’s ready to be a sophomore. I remember how anxious I was about my daughter starting university. I worried about wether she will fit in, and wether she will continue doing well academically but here we are at the end of the academic year and she aced it! I’m eternally proud.
Everything is shinier and everything is brighter in the summer. Routine’s are thrown off as it is the time to sit back and relax and indulge in summer activities and leisure. Each summer I like to set an intention to create new memories and indulge in pleasurable activities before greeting fall again and going back to my usual routine. This year I plan to spend quality time with my family and friends, hit the beach and finally get that tan I’ve been dreaming of, bond with my children who I’ll be seeing more of and if the circumstances allow, possibly travel and smell fresh new air in another country. I would like to learn new things and embrace healthier habits, I’d like to be grateful for each passing day that we are alive promising us another chance to do better.
What are your intentions this summer?
Do Judge A Book By It’s Cover
I know I know most of you think there’s a typo and that the title should be “Do Not Judge A Book By It’s Cover” but you thought wrong, there is no typo I meant it the way it was written. You should absolutely judge a book by it’s cover just as you should absolutely judge a person by how they present themselves. If I were to buy a book about cooking yet see the cover is a demonic devil eating the food then I would have second thoughts about purchasing that book just as I would have second thoughts about the message the author is conveying by choosing such a book cover. The way we present ourselves says a lot about us so I do not understand this new age concept of not judging others based on their appearances. People surely judge me by how I appear so why wouldn’t I judge them too? It’s only human. Given that it is our human nature to judge appearances one should think twice about how they present themselves. Some girls for instance go out half naked yet protest to the negative attention and harassment they receive especially from the opposite sex, arguing that what’s important is what’s inside of them not how they appear. Yet how do these girls expect not to be judged or harassed by how they appear? Same thing applies to the opposite gender. If a man chooses to go to out filled with tattoos and ripped jeans and piercings for instance and is astonished that no one takes him seriously or that in fact people are staying away from him then he should think twice. Just as you would not go to a job interview at an office dressed in beach wear why would you go out as a punk or a drunk and expect to be taken seriously? That is why certain entities enforce uniforms and if we go back to our faiths we realize that God almighty as well has guided us in how we should appear.
As a Muslim woman I adhere to the conditions that God has bestowed upon me and one of them is that I must present myself modestly and respectfully. God has set a certain criteria on how we should appear for our own protection. Even in other religions I find those who are full practitioners of their faith dressed modestly and humbly why? To respect their faith and to respect their bodies and because they know very well that they will be judged if not in this life then in the afterlife for how they chose to present themselves. To be taken seriously and to be safe one must put a lot of thought on how they appear. Sexual harassment and violation are triple as much against women who are revealing than those who present themselves modestly.
What you wear and how you choose to present yourself sends a message. That is why many organizations enforce uniforms such as schools, hospitals, the military etc… Being dressed appropriately sends the message that you respect yourself and the place you’re in. Being in uniform says that you are serious about your job be it at a school, hospital, hotel and so on… When you are greeted by a pilot in a captain’s attire you get the feeling that a capable professional will be flying you to your destination. When you talk to a woman who is dressed modestly you sense a respectful boundary between the two of you for the way she chose to conceal herself. When you go to a hospital and are greeted by a doctor in a white coat you receive the message that you are in the hands of someone responsible. Imagine if all the above occupations did not require uniforms or a certain formal attire? Would you even trust dealing with such individuals if they were not presented formally and accordingly? Would you trust your life on a doctor that shows up half naked to work? So yes it is human nature to judge appearances just as appearances reveal a lot about us. The next time you leave the house please give thought to how you appear because wether you like it or not you will be judged first by God then by the people around you and you shall be treated according to how you choose to present yourself.
A Year Older A Lifetime Wiser
As I grow older I come to the realization more and more that the greatest achievements don’t lie in monetary materials but rather in emotional connection, quality time with loved ones and true healing and acceptance of oneself. Today I accept myself as I am. I will always be sensitive because I feel so deeply. I was once described as an antenna picking up other peoples emotions. Struggling with my own sensitivity and being prone to depression I always sensed other peoples struggles or joys. This is why I usually go the extra mile with people I meet even if we’ve just met. This didn’t necessarily work to my benefit as some people I went the extra mile with simply took advantage of it. I used to feel used and hurt however today I have no regrets. The people who took advantage of my kindness I still feel compassion towards for they display shortcomings. Happy and fulfilled people do not take advantage of others so for those who do I pray they heal from the need they have to use others. As for those who truly needed my sensitivity unconditionally I continue to have great relationships with them.
As I grow older I realized my sensitivity has also made me invest in some of the most truly wonderful friendships of all time. One of my biggest investments is the friends I made and the family I am surrounded with and sometimes as you grow older this is all you need. As I grow older I’m much calmer and much more attuned to myself. I no longer give myself fully to others nor share more than I should. As I grow so does my lack of need to be liked and accepted by everyone I know… like I read somewhere why do you want everyone to like you when you don’t like everyone yourself?
As I grow older I practice awareness and living in the present for the future is unknown and the past is gone so all you really have is the present moment. The present will be a distant memory so I learned to make the most of it. I spend more quality time with my children and with my parents as I learned that creating lasting memories with the people you love is an investment in itself when all you have left are the memories.
In your growth what have you learned and what do you practice?
La Vie En Rose 