As life slowly drifts back to normal like a cool, winter wave washing upon the sandy shore, smoothing down the coarse sand, I ponder upon the little things that we took for granted before. Traditions such as family gatherings which I considered ordinary and mundane, children’s birthday celebrations or going to the gym and so on… Today those little things have new meaning and now I anticipate them with eagerness and joy.
So this months entry is about gratitude and appreciation of the little things we once thought were ordinary that today we realize are of tremendous value. I am finally at peace with my life and I spread forgiveness and acceptance for all that’s gone and I appreciate and anticipate all that is to come. Tonight as I sip my camomile tea I reminisce upon the little things and the big things in my life that bring me joy to remind myself and you that there’s beauty and love all around us.
Things that bring me joy…
Simply being born a Muslim…
Hearing the call for prayer early dawn reminding me to give thanks to a God who is all mighty and compassionate.
Enjoying the morning sunrise & cool breeze on my garden swing while I reminisce upon all my blessings and recite my morning prayers…
Reading my weekly verses of the Quran as I observe the messages written within intended just for me. Messages of promise and comfort that God is watching over me, protecting me and is all merciful and all forgiving.
The smell of my morning coffee as it is poured into my favorite mug…
Motherhood and the smell of babies and holding them in my arms…
Hugging and waving my children goodbye as they hurry off to school and missing them the second they step out the door…
Appreciating my husband’s hard work and his determination to provide us with a comfortable life…
Family that feel like friends & friends that feel like family…
Homemade jam, cheese and freshly baked bread…
Flowers and scented candles…
Yoga and meditation…
Taking care of my mind, body and soul and knowing that it is important and necessary to care of myself and then others…
The luxury of being my own boss and planning my own week…
The joy of reading and escaping within the written world…
The sight of books especially on my night stand gives me comfort as they help me unwind at night…
Long drives with nothing but music, beautiful scenery & city lights…
Date nights with hubby…
Brunch with friends…
Picnics on the beach and desert barbecues…
Sea shells & the sound of waves… as it always was and still is a dream of mine to live by the sea…
The pleasure of having and still being connected to my parents and realizing as a parent myself the tremendous effort and sacrifice they made to make sure I was happy growing up. And they still do…
Nightly phonecalls to my father and being comforted that he’s alright and that he’s only a phone call away…
My parents beautiful new home and knowing there’s still room for me there…
My cat for there’s nothing like the unconditional love and trust of an animal you care for… she’s my fourth baby..
Ice cream, hot chocolate, affogatos and the traditional cafe viennois…
Dressing up for a special occassion…
Jewelry; a diamond is a girls best friend…
Traditional, Arabian gold with designs that tell a story of the past…
The magical & mystical scent of oud and Arabic incense…
Shopping & brands… I’ll admit…
Photos and photo albums that capture our best memories forever…
Holidays & traveling with the excitement and the anticipation of the adventure ahead…
Hotel breakfasts & room service…
Sipping my morning coffee in a new city…
Beauty & spa treatments…
Simply being a woman… and especially from the UAE
The aroma of biryani and traditional Arab dishes which always take me back home no matter where I am or how far….
The ability to care and show compassion to those less fortunate which makes me realize even more how blessed we are…
Being of service to others and bringing a smile to a friend or a stranger makes me happy
Updating my site as I am now and having a platform in which I can express my thoughts and share my feelings…
“These are a few of my favorite things..” as Julie Andrews sings bursting into melody…
This entry shall be an ongoing one as I continue to remember more blessings around me. I hope this entry can be used as a reference in which we turn to for comfort when we feel overwhelmed by life. I encourage you to make your own list to realize just as I did how much we have and the joy of simply being alive…
الحمدلله على كل نعمة اعتدنا وجودها فنسينا شكرها… الحمدلله دائما و أبدآ
The UAE did it again and dazzled the world with its feature of of this year’s Exp2020. An event that has been tactfully organized and designed since the year 2013 when the vote successfuly fell on Dubai to be the host. Once again the UAE proved to the world that not only is it a global country of progression, inclusion and sustainability but that it acquires an exceptional capability and to host present and deliver the event of an era. This year, Dubai’s Expo2020 was the first of its kind to be held in the Middle East, North Africa & South Asia regions.
A small history on Expos. Expos are global events centered on finding solutions to the challenges facing humanity. Expos offer a journey through a chosen theme by creating engaging and captivating activities. The major event is acclaimed for its ability to gather millions of visitors, create new dynamics and encourage positive change in their host cities. The event this year was an immediate success and my country the United Arab Emirates, once again demonstrated to the world its exceptional ability to not only summon this one of a kind global event to the region but to bring together 192 countries and providing each country its very pavilion; something that was never done in the past. The opening ceremony was a breathtaking world wide collaboration centering upon the glory and the history of a country upon which its city Dubai aims to be the happiest city in the world.
The opening ceremony was specatcular bringing together along with the exemplary local artists, world renowned artists and entertainers such as Andrea Bocelli, British singer Ellie Goulding and Chinese pianist Lang Lang . The global event emphasized the country’s goal to connect, respect and include diverse minds in creating a more prosperous future. Expo2020 in Dubai sends the message to the world that we are a civilisation with deep roots that recognizes the importance of including various civilizations in order to create a centre for innovation, advancement and creativity.
The logo of Expo2020 couldn’t be more beautiful and suiting. It was inspired by an ancient golden artifact found at a UAE archaeological site called Saroug Al Hadeed; an area between the capital Abu Dhabi and Dubai. The golden artifact belonged to a civilization that existed 4,000 years ago. The choice of an authentic, historical Emirati artifact as the inspiration for the logo of Expo 2020 further portrays the country’s history and connection to ancient civilisations. The symbol of the artifact once again proclaims that the United Arab Emirates continues to be a hub that connects the world. Sheikh Mohammad Bin Rashid, Vice President and Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates couldn’t have phrased it better when he stated that “The UAE may not be the whole world but it is the world within a country.”
Everything was specacular. However if I were to choose one thing I believe could have been done differently in the opening ceremony it would be the choice of the background of the little girl centering the show. An 11 year old Belarusian girl was selected to portray a local, traditional, Emirati girl. As talented and charismatic the 11 year old was, stunningly dressed in a festive Emirati gown adorned with traditional, gold jewelry. Does prioritizing a non local girl for a local girls part indicate our inclusivity and equality with people of different ethnicities or have we perhaps taken that effort a little too far? I believe my country’s significant and proud heritage could have been better represented and restored by one of our many equally talented and well rounded local children be it a girl or a boy. A girl from the very own country hosting such a global event could have sent a more authentic portrayal of the country which already went as far as to invite international artists to compliment that. There will always however be various observations and differences of opinion to such colossal projects and this is just my humble observation as an Emarati woman proud and attached to her country and all that our heritage entails. I am deeply honored and humbled to be from a country that can look beyond boundaries and can accommodate such various international talents even when it came to the very core of its opening ceremony. My nation is a testament to our rich heritage of generosity, hospitality and kindness. Do I wish the girl was local yes out of the love for my lovely country and its people, do I understand why a different choice was made? perhaps. Overall the event that we have been impatiently waiting for since the past 8 years exceeded expectations proving to the world once again the exceptional capabilities, dedication and legacy of the United Arab Emirates, a country rich in history, hospitality and tradition reaching world wide recognition.
Lately I’ve been quite mesmerized by old age. I observe all the elderly people around me and I start to see past their outer exterior and into their vulnerable interior. I watch the elders with their sagging, feeble bodies, their bones protruding, their eyes hollow and wary of every step they take in case they fall. The wrinkles on their faces tell a thousand stories from the glory of the good old days and the marvels of an era. Their pride prevents them though from reaching out to us admitting they need assistance, for how could they? Weren’t they the ones who raised, fed and bathed us when we were young? Weren’t they the ones who taught us how to walk and talk and took us to school? Wasn’t it them who comforted us when we cried? What kind of cruel world is it that now it is they who need our comfort and support? How could they reveal their struggles now in fulfilling their basic matters of daily life to us? So they shudder and stutter and go about their daily routines trying to maintain their dignity by refusing to admit they need any help. In their eyes and in their feeble bodies I see pain, fear and a great yearning. Yearning for their families, yearning for their youth, yearning for us to understand their struggles without uttering a word.
So this month I dedicate this entry to our fathers, mothers, grandparents and great grand parents. To the old man selling spare parts across the street and the old woman sweeping the floors at the school. I dedicate this entry to the elders at the nursing homes, the veterans of war, the heroes of the past and the elders of tomorrow. Today after growing decades myself I watch in silence at what I thought was stubborness when it was in fact vulnerability. What I sensed was ego was actually desperation and what I felt was anger was actually fear.. Growing old with grace I realized doesn’t apply to the the physical it’s in the spiritual. It’s in the wisdom of aknowleding that our time here on earth is finite. That a cozy home and to be surrounded by the people we love are the essence of life. That the simple laughter of a child and the warm hand of a son mean the world to us. Our parents and grandparents bodies may be growing old yet their spirits stand true to the test of time. I see it now, I see the grace. I learned that growing old is upholding yourself with honor regardless of the fear. It’s needing your children by your side yet still managing to wave to them goodbye, wondering deep in your heart wether you will get the chance to see them again. Grace is in the acceptance that life was lived fully and that now it is time for the children to live theirs. It’s for letting go and having no regrets, and for finally accepting that you are fallible. It’s for turning to God and for keeping the faith and for never losing hope that God is all merciful and all forgiving.
Our elders are the candle lights burning strong against the force of the winds of time. We will cry tears of blood when they part, and we will wish we stayed that extra hour they asked us to stay, or held them closer when we had the chance. Our elders bodies may part us yet their smiles and their memories and everything they taught us when they raised us continue to live through us as we slowly and gracefully age ourselves.
With the recent joyous occasion of Eid I list childhood memories of what Eid meant and entailed to us as children and then as adults.
As Muslims we celebrate two Eids. The first being Eid Al Fitr which is the Feast of Breaking the Fast’ It is a religious holiday celebrated by Muslims worldwide that marks the end of the month-long dawn-to-sunset fasting of Ramadan. While Eid al-Adha is the ‘Feast of the Sacrifice’ honoring the willingness of Abraham to sacrifice his son to Allah however Allah provided a lamb to sacrifice instead. So in commemoration of this, a sheep or lamb is sacrificed ritually with one third of their meat consumed by the family offering the sacrifice, while the rest is distributed to the poor and needy.
With Eid Al Fitr morning enjoying a full filling breakfast after a month of fasting marked the beginning of the celebration and with Eid Al Adha the sacrificial slaughter is taught and sometimes demonstrated to children, teaching them the meaning behind it and how to share the meat with others and why…
Both Eids also start by the soothing, comforting sounds of dawn prayers from the mosques with parents taking their children along to pray.
I recall as a child Eid meant staying up all the night before anticipating Eid day and all the candy and Eidyas (money) one was going to get.
Eid for us as children was the excitement of wearing our fancy Eid clothes matched with fancy bags (to carry all the eidyas in) or wallets and fancy shoes. Eidyas being celebratory money distributed to cheer the children up.
Eid for us girls was blow drying and styling our hairs with fancy sparkly bows and clips and getting away with adding some lipstick and eye pencil and nail polish before being old enough to do so.
Eid was the gatherings of family and friends, distant and close.
Eid was visiting and receiving guests all day mainly in the house of the family elders; usually a grandparents home.
Eid was a feast to eat and a sugar rush of desserts and sweets. Biryani, Lamb, Harees, Thireed, cake, chocolate, aseeda, jelly, fruit salads, ice cream… just to name a few of our traditional dishes.
Eid was paying respect to the family elders and in turn receiving their blessings. Eid was the greeting of cousins and relatives distant or close.
Eid meant greeting each other as well as if we haven’t been seeing each other every day or every week. It’s a funny yet exciting feeling as well.
Eid was the spread of good wishes and kind words. Eid unites us and brings us altogether, making us reach out to one another putting any disputes aside.
Eid is every child’s dream come true as they eagerly count how much “eidya” they’ve collected, spending some of it on presents and toys the next day!
Eid as we grow older becomes more about giving before receiving. Today a child’s excitement and sparkly eyes as they receive a eidya from me takes me back to when I was that child and gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart.
Eid in short is a rush of wonderful emotions and beautiful memories. Eid is faith, love, laughter and peace.
And to end this simple entry I wish you a Eid Mubarak from my heart to yours ❤️ May it bring you all the joy you’ve been waiting for and more 💐
My dear daughter, my first born, my young lady and my best friend.
On your sweet 16th birthday I write to you this letter. As I look back at our years together I remember how I was much younger when I had you. I still remember the first moments I held you in my arms like it was yesterday. My eyes start tearing and my heart aches with longing as I remember that special day on the noon of May 23rd 2005. It was a bright summer day and my heart gleamed with fondness as I held you in my arms for the very first time. With so much caution I cradled you ever so slowly, learning for the first time how a mother holds her child. You were my newborn and I was your new mom. I knew instantly that you were something much more important and much bigger than anything I’ve seen or experienced in my life. My heart was filled with fondness and a love I never knew existed before I met you. I still remember your tiny, pink face and your delicate little body as your little eyes searched mine. In just a few moments we bonded and we both knew that a new life waited ahead for us as a family. We were inseparable. There were joys and there were tears, you taught me every day how to become a better mother and I nurtured you as you bloomed into the wonderful and beautiful young lady I see today. No one prepared me for just how much I would love you and today on your birthday I wanted you to know that my life has been richer and more meaningful by having you in it. I’m ever so proud and so lucky and so thankful to be your mom and to call you my daughter.
My darling Fatma, I wish you find your path of greatness as I only see great things in your future. You are hard working, mature beyond your age, caring and dedicated in every way. I said this to you before and I say it again you have a gift of excelling in anything you set your heart on wether it is a major school project or pursuing one of your hobbies such as horse riding. However my daughter, while you strive for greatness and success remember to smile and take it easy and enjoy the ride along the way. Know that with great success comes great sacrifice so slowing down and enjoying the path to success can make it much more worthwhile. My dear Fatma you are at an age where you are starting to shape your unique personality and draw your future yet while you do that don’t forget to cherish the present moment. Smell flowers, take walks on the beach, laugh often and enjoy your time with family and friends. While you study hard and think of college, while you are busy growing up fast, remember to enjoy your youth and create lasting memories; for memories are the only things we take with us as we grow older and life passes us by, so lets make sure they are happy ones.
My sweet eldest child whose on her way to adulthood, know that life has it’s ups and downs. That as important as success is that there will be times where we get disappointed and things don’t go as we planned and that’s ok. Remember this, there is no such thing as failure, there is only learning new ways of not doing things. When you get frustrated and things don’t go as you planned, pause, use this as a learning opportunity rather than looking at it as a failure and remember that life is a test and we are constantly learning. Always look on the bright side, and always remain positive and never lose faith. Let your faith be bigger than your fears for God is most merciful and most forgiving. Don’t be too hard on yourself for life is like a heart beat it if there are no ups downs it means you are not living. Just as there is happiness there is sadness, just as there are beginnings there are ends so honor those moments and continue to flourish and learn. However I need you to know this one thing which is that with all of life’s ups and downs my love for you stays constant. I will always be here for you and my love for you only grows bigger and stronger everyday.
life seems simple when we are young. We go to school, make friends, get good grades, go to college, get a job and then start our own families. When we are young we feel invincible, in control, full of aspirations. When we do graduate high school we expect to enter a good college, and then when we graduate college we are confident that a decent job awaits us. After securing that job we fall in love believing that that special someone will share the rest of their lives with us and we will live happily ever after. Those are the dreams we grow up believing in as no one teaches us otherwise. So after obtaining that degree and landing that dream job and after we tie the knot with that special someone and start our own families we develop a sense of security. Our positive outlook and young stamina only envisions success and consistency however, slowly and painfully life hits us hard and we learn the hard way that just as there were bright beginnings there are also painful endings. We start facing many challenges and difficulties in life that make us question our very existence and makes us redefine our dreams. What makes the notion of endings so hard is they happen just as we’ve become accustomed to the life we’ve built. We start to realize that in our naive notion of believing that success only leads to success and that a marriage is a union where only death does us part and that our families and friends and our jobs will be there for us forever that nothing in life is ever lasting. In our young naive minds where we felt we were in control, we started taking our partners, our families and our lives for granted never once questioning that they could slip away. We believed that the friends we’ve had since childhood will continue being our friends till adulthood, and that the job we secured for years is financially binding and that the spouse we spent our life with will always be there to support and comfort us. The harsh reality though is that there is no such thing as a lifetime guarantee. That even security doesn’t last and that the greatest regret we form is taking the friends, job or family around us for granted. How much we’ve changed and how much wiser and mature life has made us.
So this months entry is to honor endings. This is an entry to bring to the realization that nothing lasts forever. If we were raised to be prepared that just as things in our lives are beginning they do also end we would never take anything or anyone or any day in our life for granted. With the realization that there is no lifetime guarantee to anything not even health, marriage, jobs or life itself our outlook and approach to life and each other would be very different. We will be better and more understanding partners, we will be more grateful and honest employees and we would be much more patient parents. We will spend that extra hour with our families and we will put down our devices to play another round of hide and seek outdoors with our kids before they grow and head off to start their own beginnings. The little things in life like food on the table and a roof over our heads will become the big things. Our relationships and our communications will rise to another level and we will think twice before going to bed whilst in dispute with a loved one. We will make amends to old friends and we will cherish the new friends and we won’t skip our daily jog around the block. We will master enjoying the present moment cause we will finally realize that that’s the only guarantee we’ve got… the present.
So the next time you receive that job bonus aspire to how you could perform even better the next year to maintain that financial security and when you celebrate that 10th wedding anniversary don’t just go out to dinner, honor each other and think of how to renew your relationship and how to better serve each other in order to maintain a lasting union. When you’re struggling with a friend or a family member that you care about don’t just go to bed upset with them, come up with a resolution; studies have proven that a major indicator for a positive quality of life is the quality of your relationships with others. If we cherish and honor the relationships and achievements we have big and small including our own well-being, the more likely we will be able to face endings with honor rather than with regrets. We will have insured our lives and empowered ourselves by planning ahead in case of an ending. If we make the effort to control and repair the damages done today by vowing to do better and be better tomorrow the more secure our lives would be and the better equipped and the better insured we become mentally and emotionally when facing an ending. Life is extremely fickle and every day someone faces an ending to a job, a friendship, a relationship or life. Honoring endings gives us the insight of how to protect and maintain our personal security from the beginning. This is where self empowerment comes in and where independence, personal stability and self awareness forms. Honoring and preparing ourselves for endings just as we prepare our whole lives for beginnings should be something taught at school. Dealing with grief, dealing with loss, resolving conflicts and realizing downfalls should be made into a curriculum with a section on insurance and resilience. Learning shouldn’t just be about language, maths or science it should also be about life, and a big part of life is dealing with endings. This is something I learned the hard way and I hope to make it easier for my children. I hope we all finally realize how precious yet fickle life is and that contemplating its end seems almost inconceivable when in fact it is the very essence of life itself.
As the crescent moon is sighted, and the holy month of Ramadan begins, wishing you and your loved ones answered prayers, blessed iftars and warmth amongst those you love. 🌙 🕌
All my life I’ve been unsure of myself.. Gaining acceptance outwardly was imperative to me because I couldn’t accept myself inwardly. I masked my vulnerability and self doubt in makeup and designer clothes and the latest trends. Today I realize that my perfect physical appearance was a cover to mask my imperfect inner appearance. Not feeling comfortable with myself I went to extremes to make sure others felt comfortable with me. I gave every friend I knew the validation they needed to receive because I never received validation for myself. Someone once described me as a satellite receptor picking up signals of other people’s emotions and feeling them as my own. Other people’s struggles pained me as they reminded me of my own and I tried hard to help them through them. For me pleasing and feeling needed by others secured me a spot in their lives so I could escape mine. I feared abandonment, I feared rejection, I feared being left behind, that’s why I strived hard to make everyone else come first. My goal was to make everyone feel like their life was better with me in it.
Even as a mother and wife I doubted myself. I pushed myself to extremes, reading all the new parenting and relationship books and trying to apply all the modern techniques onto my life and home. Today there’s so much pressure in achieving a standard of perfection that anything else is seen as a draw back. I took on more than I could handle. I got burnt out and missed out on the enjoyment of just being present with my children and family. Like me, my children and my life had to look impeccable leaving all the messy business behind. Striving for perfection in my personal life was affecting my outer life. I couldn’t put on that perfect outer facade for long. The people closest to me saw my struggles and knew my imperfectionsand some of them even used them against me making me loath myself even more. I became defensive, irritable and guarded. I reached a point where I engaged in unhealthy habits of self harm, cause harming myself gave me a sense of control. It pained me that those who mattered to me the most couldn’t understand my struggles. I believed if those around me weren’t happy it was my fault especially when it came to the people I love.
So this months message is for anyone out there who makes it a duty to put others first. Those who were told growing up that they had to be the better person no matter how much they were wronged by others. To those who were raised to believe that to be worthy of love one had to be compliant and obedient living up to the expectations of others. To those who blame themselves for failed relationships, loss of loved ones and other people’s dissatisfactions. Those who had to be strong under extreme pressure and were only noticed after falling apart.
Sometimes it is during the darkest moments in our lives that a revelation occurs. Sometimes things need to breakdown for better things to be put together. Things start to become clearer and you see the self destructive habits you engaged in as a coping mechanism.
If you are someone seeking outward validation from others, unsure of your own worth, accepting less than you deserve while presenting a false facade of perfection you are not alone. I hear you, I know you, I am you. When you crumble and feel that no one can lift you up, trust yourself first that you can do it. The world doesn’t stop at your suffering your suffering is what stops your world. It’s time to give yourself the love and validation that you so freely give to others and the only apology you owe is to yourself for putting yourself last. Those who claim to know more about your life telling you that you’re not trying hard enough or aren’t doing things right haven’t lived your life nor felt your pain. Forgive those who hurt you cause more often than not they are hurt themselves and are perpetuating that cycle on to others. Please stop hiding behind expensive clothes and fancy cars because “you” are worthy enough without those extra touches. Know this, the world is a better place because you are in it. May the gentle all mighty God who bestowed only the best upon us guide us to regain the parts of ourselves we lost living in fear and doubt.
If you think a pandemic is the ultimate suffering try war and famine.
There’s always something worse or better around the corner and it all depends on your frame of mind. It is up to you to be the optimist, the pessimist or the realist in every situation. The glass is neither half full nor is it half empty, it just simply is what it is; a glass container with water reaching the middle of it. It is our thoughts that determine how to see the glass forgetting the very essence that the glass is refillable.
Do not let the hardships of the world shake your confidence and beliefs, be kind to yourself, be hopeful and be determined. Only when you are kind and loving towards yourself can you begin to share those sentiments with others. Rather than looking down on the situation let us be reminded that it is through pain and suffering that we rise and it is through detrimental times that we realize the value of what we’ve got or what we had.
Let us also be mindful of the way we are with others. Sometimes you might think you are being kind but there is an etiquette to it we need to follow. We need to practice ettiquette when dealing with others especially people around us who are fighting a battle we know nothing about. Be kind and mindful of how you approach others. If you know someone who is suffering from an illness wether mentally or physically please do not shame them nor blame them for the difficulty they are undergoing. When you see someone struggling with an illness please do not use religion or the lack of it to verify it. Believe it or not many people continue to struggle with illnesses while being completely religious and faithful. In fact isn’t it in the Islamic faith that we are reminded that those who Allah is fond off are tested through pain and suffering? So pressuring the ill or depressed people to turn back to religion or blaming their religious shortcomings on their unfortunate situation defeats the purpose and makes them feel more helpless and inadequate. Remember, other people’s suffering isn’t about you so the best thing to do is just listen, nod and offer a helping hand. Reminding them that they’re not alone and that this too shall pass is more than enough.
For people overcoming other kinds of illnesses like covid please do not treat them like germs when they’re finished with quarantining. When you cringe or act skeptical around them it makes them feel as if the long days they’ve spent in isolation afraid to go near or touch anything wasn’t hard enough and now they are shamed by society. Let us remember that nobody chooses to be sick, that this is a predicament enforced by Allah and only when we remember that will we be more understanding, accepting and compassionate.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that. – Martin Luther King Jr.
La Vie En Rose 