Author: ohlala80

What are the things that bring you comfort? In a consumer driven, technologically crazed, overworked society finding comfort can be a challenge.

Even as a stay at home mom you find yourself panicking from the surge of parenting books you are trying to keep up with, to the unsolicited advice you get from other parents who always seem to ‘know more’ to society’s judgement of why you’re a stay at home mom or not. The list is endless.

I think what makes things much more difficult is the media, be it social, written, televised or radio, everyone today claims to be an expert with videos and content telling us what to do and how to behave or how to look. The result is an impending feeling of inadequacy and vulnerability when in truth most people are just as lost as you are.

Today I try to find comfort within the chaos. First by accepting myself and my shortcomings. I will never be a perfect mom or a perfect wife or have the perfect figure and I’m not even going to aim for perfection. I’m going to aim for improvement, for learning, for loving myself enough to take better care of my mind and body. The greatest lesson I learned is that in order to give love and care you must give it to yourself first.

Second I’m going on a social media cleanse. Enough with everyone talking and preaching like they know it all. Enough with people taking pictures of perfection trying to exhibit a perfect life that does not exist and enough allowing all this media influx to make me doubt myself.

Third is to find spirituality. Know that there’s another life in the ever after waiting for us and instead of striving to please and attain the senseless beauty standards, parenting advices, inexplicable wealth and the so called dolce vita of this world let’s work on attaining all that in the after life where our real world resides by practicing our faith and being more spiritual.

As for this stressful life today I strive to find beauty in the simplest of matters, beauty in the ordinary and in the mundane. Beauty in my family surrounding me, beauty in the cup of coffee I’m having with a dear friend, beauty in the flowers that surround my home and beauty in simply being alive. As our Prophet pbuh once said: “Whoever among you is safe in his home, healthy in his body, and has food for the day, it is as if he has his life and all that life entails.” The main lesson learned as I approach my mid life is that this life is a series of shock and afflictions in order to return us to the all mighty. Our true life isn’t on earth but in heaven where real perfection and and fulfillment reside.

The sweet summer breeze in the city of Brugge in Belgium brushed against my face, playing with my head scarf as I stared into the glistening river. I watched intently as the boats with the waving tourists floated by. A sweet, sugary waffle with cream in my hand, I could smell the flowers in their pots strategically scattered around the city. Three years later we are blessed with the chance to forget about covid & enjoy a summer in Belgium again. Finally I am in my happy place, surrounded by the people I love, we are healthy we are happy and we are together and this was all that mattered. How was your summer?

It is the summer holiday and no the perfect family day was not spent abroad in some fancy ski resort, nor was it spent tanning by the turquoise beaches in the Maldives, we weren’t on a cruise ship nor were we strolling the fashion streets of Paris (not that I wouldn’t have loved being at either of those places!). However, the perfect family day was actually a Sunday like most other Sundays. The children wanted to try a new Japanese restaurant called origami at Festival City mall (not the fanciest of malls either if I may add). We got to the mall and I watched with pride my tall and broad husband walk near my sweet, chubby son who was trying to catch up to his fathers stride. I imagined my son growing equally tall and broad and kind like his father and the thought brought a smile to my face. I saw my daughters laughing and teasing each other as we approached the restaurant which they had suggested. We were dressed in our Sunday bests and simply being, rested, healthy and content was already a perfect start to the family day.

We ordered an assortment of starters to share followed by our main courses. I thanked and blessed God for the meal in front of us and the family love within us. I thanked Allah for blessing us with the means to eat at a restaurant (fancy or not) and for simply being a family joined together in good health, love and harmony, a family exactly as we are. After we satisfied our taste buds and quenched our hunger with the Japanese delicacies we headed to the mall prayer halls to pray. My son headed with his father to the male prayer hall while I headed with my daughters to the female one. I prayed and thanked God for the meal, for the blessing of having my family intact around me and for waking up to another sun shiny day with no regrets or tragedies. That in itself is a blessing. I prayed for my family’s protection and for God to grant my husband health and prosperity and to surround me by him and my children always.

After performing our prayers, we decided to have dessert at one my favorite French cafes called L’aduree. The fact that we even have L’aduree in my country is worth celebrating. I ordered my black coffee accompanied by rose ice cream while the children indulged in their colorful macaroons. It was a lovely treat.

We strolled the mall for a while longer our bodies digesting their meals, until we decided it was time to return home. The sun was setting as my husband drove with music playing in the background and I had a faint smile on my face. I looked to my left and watched as my husband drove and I marveled at the strong and supportive man he was. I looked back and smiled at the kids who were buckled up and chatting endlessly and I said a silent thank you to God for this exact moment which I wouldn’t swap for anything else.

At home we gathered around the living room. My husband switched on the TV while suddenly my middle child who is a natural artist brainstormed a small business prospect involving her crochet. My middle child has a gift of creating the most wonderful crochet creations and artwork, she truly has such a talent! In fact when I look closely, each one of my children has a special talent. My eldest with her advanced horse riding technique and culinary skills, my middle child with her art creations and my youngest with his endless experimenting wether with toys or ingredients. My middle child continues brainstorming as her eyes glistened with anticipation. My husband started pitching some ideas to our daughter and that’s when she decided to come up with a logo. Her older sister helped implement a logo on the iPad alongside their father. I beamed with pride at the fun and productive day this was turning out to be not bad at all… a nice lunch and then huddling to be creative… My son decided to go to the kitchen to whip up one of his special fruit cocktails for us while being the book worm that I am I brought the latest book I was reading and started reading amidst all the creativity going on while our cat rolled around and looked at everyone curiously. The day was perfection.

I read in one of my books that life will give you all that you want but not necessarily in the way that you imagined it. That to surrender to life as it is and to practice gratitude for every small and big thing was the key to happiness. I had my life right here, right now amongst my family, amidst by husband and children where everyone was pleasant and in good health. My husband has been a pillar of strength to our family during difficult times and beneath his sometimes rough exterior he has never failed to impress me by his kindness and support. As for my children I couldn’t have asked for more perfectly imperfect ones. I love them as they are in all their strengths and weaknesses. They make me proud and they’re the main reason I wake up in the morning and raising them and creating memories with them is one of my main purposes in life.

May Allah bless us with more happiness and contentment and may we never take the little pleasures in life for granted again. It was the perfect day and it didn’t cost much it only required gratitude, fulfillment and acceptance that even if life wasn’t perfect (and it never is) it was good enough. I pray that with all of life’s ups and downs that I continue to feel this content with my family and friends forever.

How was your day? And what would you describe to be the perfect day?

Much love and keep smiling!

Love is the dancing of the soul and the glowing in the face

Love is the gentle touch of a hand and the whispers of sweet nothings in the ears

Love is reading the gaze of an eye without the utterance of a word

Love is the flickering of the soul and the fluttering of the heart… even after so long

Love is longing and belonging

Love is acceptance & assurance allowing freedom to be undeniably you and for them to be undeniably them

Love is celebrating each other exactly as you are

Love brings out the best in you you can’t remember being before it

Love is leaving that last slice of pizza and saying call me when you reach

Love is showing interest in what the other is interested in

Love is making an effort and making it seem effortless

Love is kindness, security and mutual respect

Love is beginning each day with gratitude and a smile for being with one another

Love is being supportive and a shoulder to cry on in the difficult times and the celebrations in the good times

Love is being by their side and understanding that they need to be loved a little extra when times get rough

Love is embracing every moment together knowing that there are ups and there are downs and that’s ok

Love isn’t about where but with whome

Love is putting each other first and fighting for one another

Love is cooking his / her favorite meal and anticipating eating it together

Love is patience love is sacrifice

Love is unconditional and pure

Love makes the world go round wether its towards a spouse, a child, a parent or a friend

Freedom doesn’t come from doing all you want. Freedom in fact comes from having the discipline of knowing your true self and how to regulate it. How to find peace within the chaos unshattered by the outer world. How to identify your strengths and weaknesses and honor them knowing that as a human you may have some limitations. To overflow with love and acceptance from within so that that abundance may flow outwardly to those you care about and love. This is where true freedom lies. Freedom is setting healthy, respectful boundaries with others and knowing how and when to diplomatically say no. This is freedom. Without such self discipline, awareness and self honor you are the opposite of being free you are in fact a prisoner. A prisoner to unhealthy social norms, a prisoner to emotional or physical abuse, a prisoner to low self esteem allowing others to easily manipulate and control you without acknowledging your boundaries.

Freedom is knowing and accepting yourself so well that you do not easily get triggered in the face of hostility and adversity. Freedom is the ability to draw the line on what is acceptable and what is not and allowing others to acknowledge that. This is true freedom. When you know and understand and honor yourself from the inside then you are not easily affected, triggered or manipulated by the outside.

This freedom is especially important in relationships too. Today many youngsters throw themselves into relationships such as marriage, partnerships, job opportunities expecting outward gratifications to fill them up from the inside and make them happier. Unfortunately a lot of them fail. Today there’s a shocking rise in divorce rate, unemployment and bankruptcy for exactly this reason which is that most people haven’t found happiness and satisfaction within before seeking it outwardly so again they are prisoners to outer influences. Social media and advertisements in our consumer driven world only make it worse targeting and magnifying our deepest insecurities. Consumerism purposely aggravate our deepest concerns in order to make us believe that freedom and happiness lay in material gratification. Today a lot of people are manipulated by the media to believe that happiness and wholeness is achieved by purchasing. Feeling good and satisfied within is not good for business. We see societies today obsessed with luxurious brands, race cars, expensive holidays, plastic surgery and substance abuse wether they can afford them or not and this is another form of imprisonment. The more we try to numb our inner insecurities through shopping, jumping into relationships, physical alterations or substance abuse the insecurities almost always resurface. All outward gratifications fail to provide the inward gratification achieved by self contentment and acceptance which is true freedom. Happiness starts from within and only then can you truly be free.

This is why I urge you to discover yourself, to forgive yourself and to honor yourself and your limitations and set your boundaries so you could grow and flourish with an abundance of love, faith and self acceptance. I urge you to do so so we can break the cycle to this consumer driven society that dictates how we should or shouldn’t feel or what we should be doing. How or what you should look like, how to be a better mom or earn that higher pay check. When you are thirsty and lost on the inside you are easily manipulated and distracted or triggered by the outside. So once again the real freedom lies within, in honoring and acknowledging yourself and holding on to faith and having the discipline to draw the line on what is truly important to your self and what is not.

On this note I end this months entry and I encourage you to find your passions, set some achievable goals for yourself and love the path to healing. Give yourself credit for taking the time to learn, read, meditate, excertcise and take care of yourself mentally and physically. Enjoy being you and fill yourself up from the inside before aspiring for that promotion, vacation, spouse or car for those are just the topping of the ice cream while the contents of that ice cream is all you.

Much Love!

I wish you had a blessed Eid surrounded by family and loved ones. May those who were not with us anymore be rewarded a higher honor and may we meet them again in Heaven.
Eid Mubarak from my home to yours 🌙 🕌

I am humbled and thankful for all the kind words and gestures I received on my special day. As I say goodbye to last year and hello to this year as I close my past chapter and indulge in my new one I cannot help but ponder and reminisce upon the years that passed and on all the wonderful and challenging experiences and lessons that I learned growing up. Growing older is a gift because it carries with it years of wisdom, memories and trials that if learned properly benefit you in the coming years. Today I see the blessings in all the struggles I faced and the merit behind everything I felt denied from. Today I look at mistakes or as lessons rather than harsh realities. For if you’re only growing in age and not in awareness of what is truly important in life then you are at loss.

Being a young mother and wife has given me the opportunity to learn and grow along side my husband and children. It was not always easy yet today I believe that the struggles I faced only made me stronger. My experiences as a young wife and mom also meant that I get to now enjoy this next stage of my life rediscovering and redefining myself while still at my peak. It is a luxury to be able to invest in yourself and to have the time and the consciousness to do that. Today I give myself points and am finally proud of the person I used to doubt for so long.. me… Today I am not only truly thankful and more accepting of myself today I have the courage and the confidence to stay away from situations or people who threaten my sense of self worth. Today I learn to put boundaries which serve to honor myself and then others. With the love and support of my family, husband and children I’ve learned to grow peacefully, lovingly and passionately and to redefine myself meticulously more than ever before. 🕊

Today I present some of my humble experiences and amazing things I learned over the past years in my life which contributes to this overwhelming feeling of satisfaction today. Perhaps my humble writings can form a tiny ripple of positivity in someone else’s life as we (myself included) need that strength and reminder every now and then.

Do not under estimate the power of prayer. When you remember and turn to God, God in turn remembers you and turns to you and you shall begin to see the blessings in the little and the big things in life that the All mighty bestows upon you.

Invest in your family and friends. Work on forming lasting relationships built on love, trust and mutual respect with the people you love. The happiest people are the social people who take the time to reach out and be more accepting and welcoming of their family and friends.

Learn to maintain your health physically and emotionally for you and for your family. A big lesson I learned is that a family is like a network and if one member falls an imbalance occurs. Children especially feel the pain and struggles of their parents as they are completely dependent on them for survival… so your well being is important not just to you but to those around you who love you wether children, spouses, siblings or parents… so take care of you and also remember happy wife equals happy life 😉

It is ok to have an “off day”. When feeling constricted and frustrated give yourself a break. Take time off for yourself by the beach, on a holiday or even in the solitary of your own home and breath and reflect before making any decisions or actions. Believe me this goes a long way.

Know yourself and your capabilities and honor your limitations and accept and love yourself as you are. You are human my friend.

Life is up and down so enjoy the ride. Enjoy the ups, reflect on the downs and never lose faith. Life is like a heartbeat if it were stagnant then it means you’re not living. Ask yourself during the downs what is this teaching me and practice gratitude during the ups for this is the spice of life.

You don’t have to take care or be in control of everything. You are not the master of the universe.

Go easy on your partners, children, family and friends. Understand that humans are fallible and lower the expectations. Be kind and expect nothing in return and learn to accept others as they are and watch as they flourish and become the best versions of themselves.

When it comes to parenting, the one and best advice to raising happy, independent and confident children is to show them love. Show your children love and acceptance and watch them turn into the wonderful human beings that they are sometimes even surpassing what you initially envisioned for them.

If you seek love, give love, if you seek companionship become a good companion, if you seek wealth share your wealth. We receive back what we give and send out the most.

Volunteer in a charity or a cause. Get out of your own life and try to save another’s. When we get out of our own world and our own problems and help others with theirs we rise above our egos and our struggles and we become much more appreciative.

Find your passion and you shall see that passion flourish in ways you couldn’t imagine. Set an intention to work on the things you’re passionate about wether it’s a hobby, a career, a practice and you will find bits and pieces of your passions unfold before you like a flower in bloom.

It is ok not be liked by everyone you can be the most beautiful rose and someone will still have a problem with flowers and that’s ok it is just who they are and has nothing to do with who you are.

Know how to set respectful boundaries with friends and even family. Forming healthy boundaries created respect for yourself and others.

If you make a mistake own it, apologize (even if it is to yourself) and learn to do better next time for mistakes are simply opportunities that we learn from.

Finally don’t forget to love deeply, practice faith compassionately, and be grateful eternally for a new year God has granted you. It is never too late to become a better and wiser person and pass on some of that wisdom.

May we continue growing in wisdom before age… love and peace to you all 🤍

Blessed and eternally grateful to have had the privilege to fast and pray during this holy month of Ramadan in Mecca (the holy house of God). Ramadan is also the month our Holy Quran descended upon us from God to guide us and give us direction. Ramadan isn’t only about fasting from food it is also about fasting from hatred, prejudice, envy and lust over materialistic worldly matter. Ramadan is the month of giving, sharing and forgiveness, a month that teaches us discipline through fasting revealing our true capacity and potential to be better Muslims. Once we put all our intentions and our hearts into practicing Ramadan in every aspect of it (not just the fast) we start to rise above worldly matters and limitations. We become free and closer to the divine than ever before; we reach enlightenment. I was so honored to be able to do all that in Mecca this month Allah truly loves me. So in this holy month I ask God to give me the strength and dedication to practice my faith without the distractions of worldly temptations. I pray to God that Ramadan be the beginning of instilling this discipline and strength within me to do good and to be good and to take that further with me to the rest of the year and to eternity just as he had done with the prophet pbuh and his companions thousands of years before. Lucky are those who have reached that level of discipline and awareness and who live with God in their hearts and minds. May Allah continue to bring us closer to him shedding light on what is truly important and strengthen our faith during this holy month of Ramadan and after. 🌙 🤲🏻

May Allah bless our good deeds & help us overcome our shortcomings for indeed he is the all merciful and the all forgiving. 🕊