Author: ohlala80

I’m social and upbeat

Yet often I feel alone

I’m confident in my decisions

Yet question them daily

I love being a mother

Yet I still worry if I’m doing it right

I want my children to grow

Yet miss their baby innocence

I’m hopeful and positive

Yet smile through my tears

I want a break from my life

Yet can’t imagine a different one

I’m happily married

Yet it’s one of the hardest things i’ve had to do

I’ve learned so much

Yet still discovering there’s much I don’t know

I’m excited for the future

Yet I constantly keep looking back wishing I could’ve done things differently

I feel accomplished

Yet still question my worth

I feel eloquent

Yet still struggle with what to write

I am content with all I have

Yet still struggle with anxiety

I’m not perfect

Yet I am undeniably human

There’s a lot more I need

Yet I am still truly blessed.

Small acts of kindness cause an endless ripple. I read somewhere that everybody you know carries a sad story inside of them that no one knows anything about so be kind always. When you see the old cleaner sweeping away at the malls share a smile , when you’re ready to pay at the cashier make eye contact and say thank you. When you see an elderly person try to lift things offer a helping hand. The world needs more kindness and kindness doesn’t have to cost a dime. In Islam every small or big act of kindness is rewarded in the after life. Islam dictates that acts of kindness form a light in the believers grave that will continue to illuminate his path to heaven on the day of judgement. So if you can be anything tomorrow be kind.

As we encounter the holy monty of Ramadan, the month the holy Quran descended from heaven, the month we fast united and pray alongside one another I like to remind you and myself of the real meaning and merit behind Ramadan.

Ramadan is the month we re-evaluate our priorities. It is the month where prayer and supplication come first. It is the month of discipline not just in our diets but in our minds and bodies as well. Fasting isn’t just about withholding from food, it is also about withholding from gossip, resentment and anger. It is about complete submission to God and while having faith in our hearts guiding us. Ramadan isn’t just about not eating and feasting at night, it is about re-evaluating our priorities, creating healthy habits, gaining closeness and giving complete trust in Allah al mighty and focusing on our spirituality. Ramadan is about forgiveness and givingand finding your potential as a person. Ramadan is about breaking unhealthy cycles and replacing them with healthier options.

There is just so much goodness to this holy month that if we work hard, makes us realize our optimal potential as human beings. When practiced properly the month of Ramadan makes us realize that we can in fact be better human beings and that we can be healthier and more pious to our faith. Ramadan is not just the month of fasting, it is a proper way of life that the devoted follow. Ramadan is simply a reminder of all the good we are capable of doing through our fasting and worship. Our bodies detoxify and our souls cleanse. May you experience Ramadan to its optimal potential and may we together grow as better, humbler and more devoted human beings.

Ramadan Kareem.

Nothing prepares us for what it’s gonna be like when we become parents. No book or lecture gives parenting justice. For when that precious being comes to life only then are we awakened to perform the hardest job on earth… parenting. We learn to become parents first and foremost from our children and it sure is a rollercoaster ride.

Our first instincts as parents are how to keep them alive. We stress over making sure they eat right, sleep well and are warm enough all the while telling ourselves that once they can eat solids it will get easier, once they start walking it will get easier, once they enter school it will get easier but guess what, there is no easier, each phase comes with it’s own set of challenges.

Today I am a blessed mom of three teens. Sure they bathe themselves, feed themselves and are pretty independent, you’d think the hard part of parenting is over but boy with teens it’s a whole other story. With teens you get the mood swings, the talking back, the assertion of their fresh new personalities where they suddenly know more than you the parent who birthed and raised them. Suddenly we are the old fashioned ones, the clueless ones, while they develop a know-it-all attitude. What happened to when I was their superhero who they’d turn to for comfort and security? What happened to when I could lure them into listening to me by bribing them with a new toy or their favorite ice cream? It’s a bitter sweet feeling. You pine for the old days when they were still a handful, young, innocent child and you also feel proud watching them grow and gain their independence.

My eldest child is now preparing to go to college. I wish I could just sit back and relax and say finally she’s leaving the nest… but it isn’t that simple. With older kids you worry if they are making the right decisions, if they’re mixing with the right friends, if they’re able to put boundaries, if they are being bullied or not and the list goes on.

After many years I came to the realization that children teach us how to become parents and they’re the ones that allow us to learn more about ourselves. It’s naive to think that there’s one stage easier than the other, for a parents job is never truly over. You hold them in your arms and you blink and suddenly they are young adults fulfilling their wonderful destinies as you slowly learn to let go and be their parents from afar.

It’s been 21 years since I last set foot in my university, and setting foot in it again for the 25 years silver jubilee reunion brought back many bitter sweet memories. I returned to the university for the reunion while having a daughter the same age I was when I first set foot in it 21 years ago, how time flies..! The granite floors that were once shiny and slippery were now cracked and uneven, the college buildings however still stood tall with their grand columns and the flashing center main building which was adorned by lights and laser beams for the festive occasion… it was all so spectacular and nostalgic at the same time. My mind took me back to my first day in uni. I was the age of my daughter now, a wide eyed teenager, still a child at heart, I remember wearing a red summer dress with tiny white flowers printed on it, my hair tied up in a pony tail and in my hand I clutched a notebook with pens and pencils stuffed in my handbag. My father dropped me off and as I waved him goodbye I walked hesitantly towards the center building where all the new freshmen were summoned for orientation. There, I greeted my childhood friend Moza and my other childhood friend Shayma, they were the only 2 girls I knew at the time attending AUS with me. The professor in charge of orientation ended his welcoming speech to us freshmen and pointed us towards the different colleges we were supposed to go to. This was where the journey began… and standing there made it all feel like yesterday.

College was an initiation period shaping me from a young girl to a young adult. The education wasn’t just from the textbooks but from college life a well. I’ve formed lasting friendships with both students and professors as they were and continue to be like family to me. Sure there were the challenging days and the challenging courses but they only built in me resilience and perseverance. I was determined to do well and I remember how in the classes I enjoyed like history of western art and psychology I sat attentively grasping every detail the professors were teaching. I remember I aced those classes and was placed on the deans honor’s list twice. I remember the canteen and the table I sat on with all my close friends I remember how thrilled we were at the Starbucks that opened near the colleges. I remember the gigantic art studios and the endless late hours I stayed after school trying to finish drawing a still life or building a model. To all those great memories and more I say thank you to the American University of Sharjah and to its founding father His Highness Sheikh Sultan Al Qassimi. Sheikh Sultan continues to inspire and implement great educational institutes and opportunities in all of Sharjah and it makes me proud to be part of a city that promotes such excellence. It is no wonder Sharjah is a cultural hub for educational excellence and pioneering it is the American University of Sharjah. Today I aspire to have my daughter enter AUS and to have the same amazing opportunities I had there. I have no doubt the university will shape her into the best version of herself as it did with me. Thank you my AUS and go class of 2002!

Normally when we think about a gift our mind goes to something we could purchase, however did you ever wonder what you could gift someone for free? Lets contemplate that thought for a while for this months entry is all about the gifts you could gift for free!

1.The gift of Presence, sometimes all your friend or all our child needs is your presence. To be truly present in the now with them. To celebrate fully with them and to listen fully to them without distractions. To enjoy the time with them as it is fully and presently. That could be a wonderful gift.

2. The gift of Time, in today’s fast paced world who has time? However the hard fact is we all have some time to spare and gifting someone some of that time could make a huge difference. Allocate some time off from your busy schedule and offer it to your old parent, your spouse, your bestfriend and watch how they glow with satisfaction.

3. The gift of Forgivness, and this is an important one. When you forgive you are not only doing others a favor you are doing it to yourself. Forgive so you could move on without the hurt and pain of staying resentful for angry for holding on to anger and resentment are like poisons you poison yourself hoping the other would die. The ones you forgive may surprise you too by showing you better aspects of themselves once you have offered them that gift.

4. The gift of Support, sometimes all someone really wants is a shoulder to cry on someone to believe in them or to simply listen to them. Be that person and gift that gift.

5. The gift of Consistency, if you promised someone you will show up then show up, if you promised them an hour a day to spend together then continue to do that, if you set a schedule for date nights then follow through. Nothing spells safety and comfort more than consistency. Consistency creates balance and lets the other person know you are reliable and have made them a priority.

6. Finally and I’ve saved the best for last is the gift of Love, yes ladies and gentlemen love is the most priceless, most rewarding gift you could offer. Love gives warmth, happiness, glee and most important security to the other person. Love for a child, a parent, a friend, a spouse, tell those you love you love them and act on it.

These my friends are some amazing gifts that cost no money but mean everything. Whats truly rewarding about those gifts is you receive them too. When you offer your time, presence, forgiveness, support, consistency or love to others you are also offering them to yourself. The reward of being that person who offers those intangible gifts is huge and pleasurable, try and you’ll see.

What are you gifting someone today?

Recently we were shocked and appalled by the controversial advertising campaign conducted by the so called brand Balenciaga. The true colors of the brand were revealed when they exploited children by making them carry toy bears dressed in what can only be described as bondage gear. The children who only exhibited innocence on their faces were photographed in several positions carrying or laying next to the inappropriate toys.

Given that this is a world famous brand belonging to a leading country; Spain I question where is the children’s rights? Where is the children’s sense of safety and security when opting to model for such a brand. Upon further investigations it appears that the brands stylist Lotta Volcova’s designs promote devil worshipping, abuse murder and child exploitation. Thus I hold the modeling agency, the brand, the parents of those children, the photographers and even the internal staff completely accountable for sending the perverse message. I think it is safe to say that boycotting the brand is the least we can do. Shame on you Balenciaga and any brand that decides to take advantage of innocent children. This is utterly nauseating.

The brand already makes millions of dollars in revenue and yet they still decided to exploit those innocent children. Children should be allowed to live in a world where they feel safe and nurtured not abused and exploited in such an unimaginable manner.

So from today I am boycotting and getting rid of any traces of brands that abuse children, disrespect religions or fund terrorists. I believe that us as honest citizens also have a role to play in stopping such absurdness and it starts with boycotting.

What are the things that bring you comfort? In a consumer driven, technologically crazed, overworked society finding comfort can be a challenge.

Even as a stay at home mom you find yourself panicking from the surge of parenting books you are trying to keep up with, to the unsolicited advice you get from other parents who always seem to ‘know more’ to society’s judgement of why you’re a stay at home mom or not. The list is endless.

I think what makes things much more difficult is the media, be it social, written, televised or radio, everyone today claims to be an expert with videos and content telling us what to do and how to behave or how to look. The result is an impending feeling of inadequacy and vulnerability when in truth most people are just as lost as you are.

Today I try to find comfort within the chaos. First by accepting myself and my shortcomings. I will never be a perfect mom or a perfect wife or have the perfect figure and I’m not even going to aim for perfection. I’m going to aim for improvement, for learning, for loving myself enough to take better care of my mind and body. The greatest lesson I learned is that in order to give love and care you must give it to yourself first.

Second I’m going on a social media cleanse. Enough with everyone talking and preaching like they know it all. Enough with people taking pictures of perfection trying to exhibit a perfect life that does not exist and enough allowing all this media influx to make me doubt myself.

Third is to find spirituality. Know that there’s another life in the ever after waiting for us and instead of striving to please and attain the senseless beauty standards, parenting advices, inexplicable wealth and the so called dolce vita of this world let’s work on attaining all that in the after life where our real world resides by practicing our faith and being more spiritual.

As for this stressful life today I strive to find beauty in the simplest of matters, beauty in the ordinary and in the mundane. Beauty in my family surrounding me, beauty in the cup of coffee I’m having with a dear friend, beauty in the flowers that surround my home and beauty in simply being alive. As our Prophet pbuh once said: “Whoever among you is safe in his home, healthy in his body, and has food for the day, it is as if he has his life and all that life entails.” The main lesson learned as I approach my mid life is that this life is a series of shock and afflictions in order to return us to the all mighty. Our true life isn’t on earth but in heaven where real perfection and and fulfillment reside.

The sweet summer breeze in the city of Brugge in Belgium brushed against my face, playing with my head scarf as I stared into the glistening river. I watched intently as the boats with the waving tourists floated by. A sweet, sugary waffle with cream in my hand, I could smell the flowers in their pots strategically scattered around the city. Three years later we are blessed with the chance to forget about covid & enjoy a summer in Belgium again. Finally I am in my happy place, surrounded by the people I love, we are healthy we are happy and we are together and this was all that mattered. How was your summer?