Mémoires

How you start your day reflects on to the rest of it. I like to start my day with a daily gratitude. Gratitude for all the blessings in my life the obvious and the not so obvious. As I sip my morning cup of coffee I say my morning duas (morning prayers). I contemplate on all that the all mighty has granted me from health, family, friends, the roof on top of my head, the food on the table the chance simply to be alive… I remind myself that I am living through many answered prayers and I draw a smile on my face. After taking care of my mind and soul through gratitude I encourage myself to go to the gym to take care of my body. This way my day starts with taking care of my body and soul and that sets the tone to the rest of the day. So don’t forget your prayers and be mindful of everything you do during the day as it is a chance to start fresh and do better. Be mindful of what you drink, what you eat, what you surround yourself with. Let’s simply be grateful for being alive and being surrounded by loved ones. We are not alone we have the all mighty and we have our families and friends and we have our faith that it is going to be a good day. I once read a quote that says ‘The good thing is nothing lasts forever, the bad thing is nothing lasts forever’ so cherish the good and the ordinary for if your day was ordinary filled with stillness and routine then you’re still lucky for there are those living in turbulent times. Wishing you a blessed day ahead. Share with me your daily routine.. much love ❤️

Lately I have been running out of ideas on what to write. However something in me is certain that I should continue to do so… write. I don’t know where I’m going with my writing as my dream of having a blog happened atleast 20 years too late. But it happened and here it is and something in me says I should continue. Perhaps one day I can print my memoires into a biography or simply a diary of a girl lost in her own dreams of a better world. In the past I felt a thrive to share so much of what’s going on in my life and the world… For some reason though lately my brain has been foggy and my emotions tepid. People have pointed out that I talk less, express less when honestly most of the times I am simply dreaming of another world, another life somewhere where I have more substance. Has this serenity come with age? I think so… so in order to come back to reality and engage more with life I practice being present. I practice romanticizing the little things in life… my morning cup of coffee… my exercise routine… my family… especially my family. I try to spend more time with my family especially my children who are growing up too fast for me that I feel I can’t keep up. I cherish the moments I’m with my children while secretly I’m melancholic as I know these moments shall not last forever. One day my children will go on on their own paths and form their own families and have their own lives to comit to. I pray that they will still have some room for me. A thought that makes me so glad is imagining my children having children and me being a grandparent. Oh how loved that blessed grandchild will be. I imagine my grand children mischievously running around my house when my children come to visit as I scoop them up in a tight hug in my arms. I hope that day comes and that my children are happy and loved in their own new families.

Here it is my July entry… just a little bit of what’s been rambling about in my head. Not much more to say except to hope for another day of good health, peaceful days and love.

During turbulent times like these where nothing is certain or foreseen I find myself returning to God. Therefore during moments of content we need to savor the moment fully and be present and grateful and enjoy every second of it. We need to be appreciative and thankful to God for granting us these moments of peace and contentment for nothing is certain and nothing lasts forever. I believe that this life is a series of tribulations and difficulties in order for us to return to God and strengthen our bond with the Al Mighty. So let us offer our gratitude and appreciation to the Al Mighty through prayer and supplication so he would continue to extend his blessings upon us. Let us not forget the uncertainty of this life and the cruelty of some of mankind and let’s not let all the blessings around us go unnoticed for there are many people around the world living in destitute and impoverishment. May the air we breathe, the health we bear, the roofs on top of our heads and the meals on our tables continue to surround us and may we not take anything for granted so God continues to offer us his blessings and his mercy upon us in this vast uncertain world.

This month of May I had the pleasure of visiting Bali. It never occurred to me to visit this island before however a college trip by my daughter to the island fueled my curiosity to experience this popular destination and boy would it be the trip to remember.

The first area we visited in Bali was Ubud where we were welcomed by a ceremonial fruity drink. The hotel was above a hill overlooking the green nature and we were greeted with humidity and heavy rains. I started to worry that it would be difficult to explore this island given such a weather however after that initial greeting with the showering rain the subsequent days were sunny and pleasant. The hotel we stayed at was called The Royal Pitamaha and it resembled a wellness retreat. It had a yoga temple, a meditation center, wellness spa and it was in the middle of a forest-like area simply soothing.  I was full of anticipation to experience our new adventures on the island. On our first day in Ubud my husband and I headed to a mountainous rice field. There, we sat on swings dangling miles and miles above the rice fields between high hills. It was a breathtaking experience as I swayed back and forth amongst the captivating greenery. I felt like a bird in flight with the wind brushing against my cheeks as I took in the magnificent green scenery parted by blue lakes and crystal clear waterfalls. It was an experience I would definitely love to endure once again.

The next day we went on quad bikes between the waterfalls and into caves and rocky slopes, I got soaked in water and mud but that’s what happens in adventures right? it added humor to the exhilarating experience. Up and down we drove on bumpy dirt roads and into wet ponds as the waterfalls splashed water on us from every angle. We entered dark caves and experienced glistening waters it gave me such a rush. We also visited the Ubud coffee plantation and met the famous Luwak animal, the fermenter of the famous Luwak coffee. I learned how the coffee berries were gathered from the trees, peeled, cleaned, dried and then brewed. We also got a taste of the different kinds of coffees and my favorite was the coconut coffee… such a delight. Our next stop was in another area called Nusa Dua. As opposed to green Ubud, Nusa Dua was mostly blue beaches. I enjoyed several spa treatments there in the terrace of our room and I got to submerge myself in our private pool surrounded by nature. In Nusa Dua we visited the Uluwatu temple on top of the cliffs where we learned more about the Balinese culture and traditions. I am always mesmerized by other countries traditions and cultures. Our final stop was in the village of Seminyak where we strolled the turquoise beaches and the local markets and boutiques. I was impressed by the decorative little boutiques with delightful decor scattered amongst the local souvenir markets. They had the best summer and beach clothes in Bali which I really loved. In Seminyak we booked a dinner on top of the cliff in an area called Jimbaran. The restaurant was called Rock bar in Ayana Hotel and we were seated on top of the cliff with a stunning view of the sunset spreading shades of pinks and oranges on top of the ocean. The dinner and the view were simply spectacular. In a nutshell these were the main attractions we experienced on our short trip to Bali. I got stung by mosquitos, got drenched in the mud, I got soaked in the rain and I had a mild case of upset stomach but would I want to repeat all the adventures of this trip again? Sure! in a heartbeat! They say fear doesn’t stop death, it stops life and that’s the motto I’m taking away with me from this trip. Thank you Bali for the memories, for the adventures and for the experiences I’m going to cherish for life!

45th Birthday; 16 April 2025 💫

I honor myself and every unique quality I’ve attained throughout the years

I honor the woman I was who smiled through the tears

I honor the woman I became who cheered herself on

When no one was looking I prayed from midnight to dawn

The one who dared to remain soft, to rise again and to love unconditionally

The one who was always hopeful looking for meaning quite intently

For she knew there was a merciful lord above

A lord who cared who was certainly full of love

To the mother, the daughter and the wife who continues to give

Today I honor myself and the growth that makes me continue to forgive

Today I choose me and I thank myself for persevering

For choosing to have faith and to continue believing

For all the parts of me sometimes imperfect and sometimes bold

For believing that there is light and beauty where love beholds

This post is for the courage, for the healing, for the unseen journeys no one witnessed but me

Happy birthday to the woman I am grateful for—yesterday, today, and for eternity ♥️✨

As inevitable as it is, here we are at the end of the holy month of Ramadan. It seems like only yesterday we welcomed Ramadan and had our bodies prepared for fasting and praying and reciting of the holy Quran. My how time flies… A yearly practice I make is I ask myself whether I really dedicated the month of Ramadan to my faith? Did we strive to be better believers? Better Muslims? Ramadan is not just about abstaining from food from sunrise to sunset, it’s also about abstaining from unhealthy habits, from our procrastination, from our self sabotage, from gossip, from deception in every from. Ramadan is a chance for purification of the soul and supplication to God. A true promise from God to grant redemption to all sins. So did we seize this lifetime opportunity? Did we do better and do we have the discipline to continue doing better after the month ends? Ramadan for me is like a new update of our souls, a restart to our systems a refresher of our very essence. My intention is to continue this dedication that I dedicated to my faith in Ramadan, to continue with the practices of my faith, to continue being a better version of myself through faith and action. Wishing you all a pleasant end to this holy month and wishing you an early Eid Mubarak. It always saddens me a bit saying farewell to this sacred month, the month where you see Islam everywhere, in people and in situations and in life, however this time I will take Ramadan with me in my heart and in my actions. I pray that God gives us another chance to experience Ramadan again for many years to come. May we all receive absolution from our sins and purification to our souls.

At the end of last month I said goodbye to my old house a house that was home to me for the past nineteen years. It was a bitter sweet goodbye… I watched my children grow up to their teens in that house… several birthday candles were blown there… I hosted countless gatherings and occasions there; Ramadans, new years, Eids. That house as small as it was was our shelter during the pandemic… it was our safe space when we felt troubled and it was our keeper during the tough times but as with everything else in life it was time to say goodbye…

Also within the past month I lost something so dear to me the pain is still so raw. I lost my baby Bella. Everyone who knows me knows my cat Bella was my baby. She was my baby for 7 years bringing me so much joy. Upon moving within the first week Bella who was a strictly indoor cat ran out of the house and tragically got hit by a car. I received the dreaded phone call late at night and I mourn her loss to this day. She truly was the perfect companion… I pray that we shall meet again in heaven.

Something I’m looking forwards to is the upcoming month of Ramadan. Ramadan is my favorite month of the year. It is the month of blessings through discipline. It is the month of the Quran the month that re-boots the entire year cleansing it with its divine power. As we fast and pray and gather during sunset for Iftar let’s pray that the month cleanses us of our sins, let’s pray that we overcome our shortcoming especially when it comes to our faith and become more faithful and devoted individuals. Let’s pray for world peace and let’s be the change we want to see in the world. Let us take Ramadan with us to the rest of the year reminding us of our faith and devotion in front of temptation. And with that I end my February entry. Ramadan Mubarak everyone. May we meet only in good times and may we continue to strive to be better and do better.

As we part with the past year and welcome the new one I can’t help but realize how much faster each year goes compared to the one before… it worries me how time flies and it also reminds me to seize every moment and savor every experience before it too becomes something of the past. We’ve aged, we’ve cried, we’ve laughed and we’ve formed lasting memories all in a blink of an eye. With every year we are blessed with the opportunity to make new amends and learn from prior experiences. I read somewhere that the good news is nothing lasts forever and the bad news is nothing lasts forever and so do the years… we will never be this age before or have this moment again so let’s be more mindful of the present making the most of it and let’s be more optimistic of the future with whatever it holds.

As we welcome the new year I take this opportunity to thank those chosen friends who healed hearts they didn’t break. To the friends who listened to me as I repeated the same story over and over again. To the friend and family member who encouraged me and believed in me when I found it hard to believe in myself. To those who gave me inspiration and helped me find my passions in life.

To those whose 2024 wasn’t as glamorous enough or post worthy enough, whose 2024 was about healing and survival rather than celebrations and innovations, the fact that you made it another year is celebration enough. Celebrate yourself you are enough.

Happy New Year everybody and may you enjoy it fully emerging yourself in every new experience! 🎉 🎊 🎇